Fabulously Happy
by Mouko
Summary: A bizarre Irken Invader has landed upon the planet Earth and has sought out Zim! This could be trouble... but then, why are pink bunnies involved? And what is the DreadedSongThat'sNameIsForbiddenToSpeakEvenThoughThatInItselfIsAName?
1. Psychadelic Arrival

Warning: Well... There's nothing really much here yet. But this is just here to tell you that there COULD be things here... if I so chose to do so. It's just a prologue... so nothing's set in stone yet. BUT GIMME OPINIONS! YESSSS! I SHALL WRITE WITH MY WRITER'S FIST! YOU! OBEY THE WRITER'S FIST! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
  
  
Prologue: Psychadelic Arrival  
  
  
A burst of fire lit the night sky, blazing like a comet in the void of space. It hissed, rattling windows as it sliced through the atmosphere of a large, oppressive city. Structures of black, red, and gray were illuminated by an eerie orange light before going dark once more.  
A grassy field appeared, nestled among the dark and dreary landscape. It was the city park; trees and benches littered the quaint recreational area as a lake reflected starlight off of its mirror-like surface. The ball of fire zipped over the lake, temporarily rippling the surface, before slamming in to the playground.  
A loud "sproing" issued as the fireball bounced, dropping bits and pieces as it went. Small candy hearts, bright yellow flowers, and dazed pink bunnies flew through the air, marking the path of the surprisingly bouncy inferno.  
Finally, the object crashed in to the jungle gym and came to a complete stop. It was a small spaceship, sizzling and charred as brightly colored flowers and smiling faces decorated every inch of it. The door snapped off, which prompted hundreds of small pink bunnies to flee for their lives before a small creature stepped forth.  
The creature was green in color, small and wearing a tattered red outfit that looked an awful lot like a dress. A large gold heart with a pink center was pinned to the shirt, as if sewn on to it by hand. Pink gloves and boots, trimmed with gold, dusted off the outfit. Bright gold eyes blinked repeatedly, devoid of any obvious pupil, as twin antenni twitched from atop its head. Razor sharp teeth, much like a bear trap, formed a large grin.  
The creature peered about, curiously, before letting out a high pitched giggle.  
"Perfect landing!" the creature declared, before breaking of into a fit of giggles. The creature began to whistle as it skipped off in to the night, leaving the charred psychadelic spaceship behind.  
  
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"And in other news, an odd object was found in the middle of the Central Park Playground. Investigators have yet to understand what it is; the damage is extensive. However, they judge that it might be a circus item of some sort as it is decorated oddly by bright colors and adorable patterns," a reporter announced, in to her microphone, as her long blonde hair bounced with every movement.  
The picture zoomed in on the object as firemen began to pry it out of the twisted metal. A large yellow face grinned at the camera as sparkles of pink and purple glittered.  
"The investigators also suspect it might simply be some sort of Hippy Love Barrel, as the following bumper sticker was found," the reporter continued. She held up a piece of paper. "'Give Me Cookies Or I Will Kill You' and 'I Was A Teenage Sugar Bunny'," she read.  
"Pathetic Earthenoids," Zim grunted, leaning back against his couch. "It is obviously some sort of inferior... thing... that has crashed upon this planet! It is a waste of time!"  
Zim glanced at GIR, then looked at the television once more as the reporter glanced at the object, then let out a shriek as a small pink bunny leapt out and darted across the field.  
"Still... that heap of space waste does remind me of something," Zim grunted. "But... no matter... GIR!"  
GIR sat next to the green alien, sucking diligently upon a small brainfreezy. The purple fluid traveled up the straw and in to the dysfunctional S.I.R's mouth, causing a disgusting slurping sound.  
"GIR!" Zim snapped, raising his voice more. "Change the channel! We shall not watch this filth any longer!"  
"Let's watch the Scary Monkey Show!" GIR squealed. He waved his arms, splattering the couch and Zim with brainfreezy, before darting towards the television. Zim yowled and began to wipe away the sticky substance, violently cursing his robot slave.  
At that moment, the doorbell rang.  
Zim arched an imaginary eyebrow, then glanced at GIR. GIR ignored the door, his face glued to the television as a large brown monkey stared back. Zim scowled.  
"GIR! The idoor/i," Zim snapped.  
"SHUSH!" GIR said, eyes narrowing with disapproval. "The Scary Monkey is on!"  
Zim sighed, then jumped off of the couch and trodded towards the door. He quickly put on his wig and human-eye contact lenses before flinging the door open with an irritated snarl.  
"Who DAAAAAARES disturb-!" he began, then let out a choked gasp. A small green alien, an almost mirror-image of himself, stared back at him. The alien blinked, then grinned widely and waved its arms.  
"HELLOOOO ZIM!" the alien squealed. "REMEMBER MEEEEEE? IT'S FAB!"  
Zim let out an unearthly shriek of horror before slamming the door shut. 


	2. DO NOT RESIST THE HUG

WARNING: Yes! Another warning! I dunno, I'm insane. I'm just warning you for the sake of warning you. I could be up to anything. Just not yet. Hehehe.  
  
  
Chapter One: DO NOT RESIST THE HUG  
  
  
"GIR!" Zim shrieked, panicked. GIR looked up, confused, then shrugged and returned to his show. Zim clenched his fists, then began to lock the door. The click of metal issued as every lock was set. "Lock the windows! Seal off all exits! THAT IRKEN MUST NOT-"  
"Hiii Zim!"  
Zim froze. He stared, stupidly, at the bright red door before him and its many locks. He remained perfectly still for a few moments, before glancing behind him. His skin turned a pale green as Fab grinned at him, waving cutely. The alien stood directly behind him, a large and adorable grin plastered on its face, as its antenni twitched occasionally. The poorly lit room cast Fab in a demented light, accenting every crease and curve.  
A moment of complete silence passed before Zim chose to speak.  
"How... did you get in?" Zim asked, trying to keep himself from shaking. Fab shrugged, then grinned wickedly. The twin orbs of gold seemed to spark, like an electrical burst, and focused intently upon Zim. Zim gulped, eyes widening.  
"Now that I have greeted you... II MUST GIVE YOU A HUG,/i" Fab announced.  
"What!? NO! Stay away!" Zim yelped. He scrambled away as Fab leapt at him, arms outstretched. He tore across the room, the other Irken close on his heels.  
"DO NOT RESIST THE HUG," Fab declared, knocking over tables and lamps while in pursuit of Zim. Zim leapt over GIR, then whirled to face Fab. Fab cackled, then attempted to run around GIR and get to Zim. Zim yipped and ran in the opposite direction. The two ran circles around GIR, in a hopeless chase, as the S.I.R. continued to watch the scary monkey.  
"GIR! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE! Keep that... that... FEMALE IRKEN... AWAY FROM MEEEEEE!" Zim squealed.  
"Female? How can you tell?" GIR blinked, looking up from his show.  
"Shut UP, GIR, and HELP MEEEE!" Zim shrieked. He leapt off of the couch and grabbed on to the painting of a small green monkey that was attached to the wall behind it. He hung there, kicking at Fab while the female Irken tried to hug his leg.  
"Yes Master!" GIR saluted, his eyes blazing red before reverting to their pale blue. He waddled over to Fab and tapped her shoulder. Fab turned to look at him, blinking. "HI! I'm GIR!"  
"HI GIR!" Fab cried. She then tilted her head and grinned, wickedly. "Now that I have greeted you... iI MUST GIVE YOU A HUG,/i"  
"HUG!" GIR squealed, stretching out his arms to greet Fab in a giggling embrace. The two hugged each other, cackling insanely, as Zim looked at them. He felt a lump form in his throat and shook his head.  
"By the Tallest... what have I done to deserve such a blight upon my mission?" he muttered. He rubbed his eyes, then scowled when he realized the two were still hugging. He cleared his throat. Fab and GIR ignored him, hugging each other and squealing like children.  
Zim cleared his throat once more, looking highly irritated.  
Fab cackled and began to rub GIR's belly, who flopped on to his back and mewled happily.  
"EXCUSE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," Zim thundered, dropping down from the painting to land on the couch. Fab and GIR looked up at Zim, then smiled brightly.  
"HI ZIM!" the two cried.  
"Um. Yes. Hi," Zim blinked, rather taken back. He yelped when both Fab and GIR looked at him, wickedly.  
"Now that I have greeted you...," Fab began.  
"iI MUST GIVE YOU A HUG,/i" GIR finished. The two jumped to their feet and ran at Zim, who let out a startled squeak and jumped back on to the painting.  
"DOWN! DOWN!" Zim cried as he climbed. He clung to the top of the painting, shivering, as the insane S.I.R. unit and Fab tried to grab his legs. "CEASE AND DESIST!" he yelled. "THERE IS AN IMPORTANT QUESTION I MUST ASK!"  
"Do not resist the hug!" Fab growled, jumping to grab Zim's boot. Her claws clamped on to the article of clothing, which she hugged tightly. Zim whimpered and shook her off, losing his boot in the process. Fab landed on the couch with a squeak, then glanced at the boot and continued to hug it. Zim's cheek twitched as he quickly glanced around, then gasped and pointed at the television.  
"LOOK! It's a scary monkey!" he cried.  
"Oooo?" GIR and Fab whirled about, eyes wide with curiousity, and sat down in front of the television. Zim watched and waited to see if the danger had truly passed. When it seemed that the two would not attempt to hug Zim again, he cautiously climbing down from the painting, and retrieved his boot.  
"Now...," he sighed. "... Fab... why are you here?"  
"Watching the scary monkey on this strange screen thing," Fab replied, her gold eyes shimmering as the monkey was reflected off of its faceted surface.  
"... No, why?" Zim repeated himself. "You do realize you're a wanted Irken, don't you?" he added, peering at her curiously.  
"I am?" Fab blinked.  
"... Yes?" Zim stared. "You... destroyed an entire galaxy, as well as your S.I.R. and a faction of the Armada that had been sent to help you invade the inferior lifeforms,"  
"I did?" Fab blinked once more.  
"... Yes...?" Zim muttered, uneasily. "YOU remember, don't you...?"  
"Nope," Fab shrugged, then glanced at the television to watch the monkey. The monkey bared his teeth, causing Fab and GIR to yelp. "Scary monkey!"  
"This baffles me... and I am Irken! I do not baffle!" Zim grunted. "How is it that the great Fab... one of the most powerful Irken Invaders... could be like this? And so short? I was told she was almost as tall as the Tallest! Now she's...,"  
Zim glanced at Fab, then scowled and tapped his chin.  
"... As tall as me?" Zim shook his head. "She was brave! Glorious! Powerful! ... And she did not hug! NO! NO HUGGING! Where did this hugging come from!? WHERE?!"  
"HUSH," GIR hissed.  
"The monkey might do something and we don't want to miss it!" Fab agreed. Zim scowled and sat on the couch, glaring at Fab and GIR.  
"How is it that her intelligence deteriorated to the level of... the level that it is?!" he mumbled. "The Tallest said she knew the secret of...," Zim gulped. "Of... the Dreaded Song-That's-Name-Is-Forbidden-To-Speak-Even-Though-That-In-Itself-Is-A-Name!" he whispered, as if afraid that someone might hear him. Thunder rumbled suddenly, filling the house with an immense sense of doom and darkness. GIR and Fab were oblivious to it, though Zim shivered uncontrollably. "Where the Tallest wrong about...? NO! The Tallest are NEVER WRONG! Noooooooooooo... there must be another reason!" Zim hit his palm with his fist. "I will discover this REASON... and I shall... do something...! ... ABOUT IT! YES!"  
Zim began to cackle, his voice carrying through the house. GIR and Fab glanced at Zim, then turned up the volume to the television and inched closer.  
  
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"Where are you gooooing?" Fab asked, peering closely at Zim. Zim adjusted his black wig, casting Fab an irritated gaze. He adjusted his Irken uniform before turning to fix Fab with a pointed gaze.  
"I am going to Skool," he replied. "You are to stay here with GIR. ... AND you are not to destroy anything!" he added, pointing at Fab. "NOTHING! Do you heaaaar meeee!? NOTHIIIING!"  
"I want to go to Skool too," Fab giggled.  
"NO," Zim snapped, putting his gloved claws on his hips. "You are not to go! You are staying here! HERE! HEEEERE!"  
Fab's lower lip trembled as her eyes began to water. Zim's cheek twitched. With a mutter, he stormed out of the door and slammed it behind him. Fab stared, stupidly, at the door for many moments before turning to look at GIR.  
GIR sat on the couch, munching on cupcakes. The two looked at each other; something unspoken seemed to pass between them. The two giggled insanely before leaping to their feet.  
Within moments, Fab and GIR were running out the door and in to the streets. GIR was in his green dog costume, tongue sticking out and flapping in the wind. Fab somehow managed to get some sense and stole some of Zim's contact lenses, which she used to cover her gold eyes, as well as a wig of bright gold, shoulder length hair. Where the common sense had come from, not even Fab knew. The odds of any more sensible actions was highly unlikely.  
The two of them quickly skipped down the street while humming to themselves. Fab's new "hair" bounced about, its spiked bangs dangling over her eyes. Fab giggled to herself at her "cleverness", then quickly tied the wig in to a ponytail with a pink ribbon that she had pulled out of nowhere. She shook her head, squealing with delight as the ponytail swung back and forth.  
GIR waved his small arms, then grabbed Fab's wrist and tore down the street with a squeal. Fab mimicked the squeal, kicking her legs with delight, and clung to GIR.  
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
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Zim shivered, suddenly, as he sat at his desk in Skool. He glanced about, warily, then sighed. He had been hit with an overwhelming sense of misfortune. He knew it must have something to do with Fab and GIR; he only hoped that the house was still there when he returned.  
Zim looked up at Mrs. Bitters, watching as she continued to growl about the futility of breathing and the fact that everyone was doomed. The rest of the children sat in their chairs, in stupified silence. An occasional trickle of drool crept down the mouth of a child. Only Dib was mildly aware, choosing to cast Zim poisonous gazes ever so often. Zim's cheek twitched. He grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper, then stared down at it.  
"I cannot let Fab jeopordize my mission," he thought, glaring at the paper as he chewed in the yellow pencil. He winced as he realized what he was doing and spat out the wood pieces. "I was a fool for letting them be together, unsupervised! Who knows what stupidity those two are wrecking!?"  
  
Fab and GIR sipped, happily, upon two orange brainfreezies. They sucked on the straws, creating loud slurping sounds, as they sat on a bench outside of the convenience store they had purchased their brainfreezies from. GIR glanced at Fab and giggled, then pointed down the street. Fab looked up, then nodded vigorously.  
  
"As for the threat that is Fab... I fail to see why the Tallest believe that she destroyed many of the Irken Elite. She shows no sign of hostility. On the contrary! She is so... so devoid of hostility that it disgraces the Irken Empire! It makes no sense! Nothing she does makes sense!" Zim snarled as he tapped the tip of his pencil on the paper.  
  
Music blared, loudly, as bright colors flashed about. The room was pitch dark, save for the dance floor. Humans danced upon the bright, multi-colored surface, which seemed to light up randomly and acted as the origin of all light in the club. GIR and Fab were among the many dancers, their movements graceful and elegant.  
  
"But wait... what if this is some advanced Irken Survival Tactic?" Zim blinked. He tilted his head. "GIR is programmed to act as such... as he is advanced. His actions are meant to confuse the enemy... I, myself, sometimes have doubts as to whether or not it is all an act! Perhaps Fab is using the same tactic?" Zim shivered. "... And is planning to kill me the second I return to base...?! Is she truly that diabolical!?"  
  
Fab and GIR twirled about on stage, their feet quickly tapping as they performed the highly complicated dance that was Riverdance. They were spurred on by the screams of encouragement and cheers from the other dancers, who had stopped to watch in awe at the flawless movements. The Irish music blared over the speakers as the Irken Invader and the 'advanced' S.I.R. danced on the floor, never missing a beat.  
  
"I must study her... and either obliterate her for the good of the mission... or use her for my own benefit. The Tallest would be most pleased if I defeated the fabled Fab! YESSSSS!" he hissed. "And she has no idea... no thought of my intentions! That fool... how dare she trifle with THE IRKEN ELITE! Even if she was one,"  
  
"Ai ai ai! Your little butterfly!"  
Fab panted as she danced upon the odd machine in the corner, fast-paced music blaring from it. She tapped and stamped upon a platform, prompted by the screen before her. GIR mimicked her every movement, cackling. Humans stared in surprise, watching as she performed the dance as easily as if it were second nature to her.  
"Dude... she's been getting rank AAA in every dance she does! Even Afronova, Dynamite Rave, Paranoia KCET, Paranoia Rebirth, and Graduistic Cyber!"  
"She's unstoppable!"  
"Is she inhuman!?"  
"No... she's incredible!"  
"I wonder if she's single?"  
"With THOSE moves? No way!"  
Fab continued to dance, then cackled insanely as she achieved an AAA in the game. She raised her gloved claws to the sky in triumph.  
"I AM GOD OF DANCE DANCE REVOLUUUUTIOOONNNNNN! FEAR MY POWERS OF DAAANCE!"  
  
Zim chuckled to himself, pleased with his own cleverness.  
"And when I have dealt with Fab... then I shall continue my conquest of Earth!" he grinned. He stretched and leaned back, no longer concerned. "I wonder, though. What are those two doing...? The house will be such a mess... filthy... and germy... ish," he sighed.  
"Ahem,"  
Zim blinked and glanced about. He realized that the entire class was staring, intently, out the window. Even Mrs. Bitters was glaring at the window, though she looked highly annoyed. Dib, who had been the source of the sound, was gazing at Zim. His expression was accusing, an eyebrow quirked. He jerked his thumb out the window.  
"Is that yours?" he asked. Zim felt his stomach drop as he slowly turned to look out the window.  
Fab squealed happily as she waved her arms. She was too short to simply stand and peer in the window, so she was jumping up and down to look inside. Her eyes glittered with delight as her gold hair bounced around.  
Zim paled drastically as Fab shrieked and banged on the window.  
"HIIIIIIIIIII ZIM!" 


	3. Happy Happy Hap Hap Happy!

Warning: No animals were harmed in the making of this chapter! ... Or something. ANYWAY! Hehe, now the plot begins to thicken. :D  
  
  
Chapter Two: Happy Happy Hap Hap Happy!  
  
  
Fab continued to jump up and down, attempting to gain Zim's attention. GIR sat under the window, out of sight and next to Fab. He chewed, happily, on a large greasy taco and seemed to be totally oblivious to the world about him. Zim could only stare in outright shock as the human children began to mutter.  
"Who's that?"  
"Where'd she come from?"  
"She's green too!"  
"Are they related...?"  
Zim glanced around, quickly, then shook his head. He knew he had to think fast or risk being exposed. He cleared his throat.  
"That would be my cousin," he muttered.  
"Cousin? I didn't know aliens HAD cousins, ZIM," Dib sneered. Zim cast Dib a scowl, then looked back at Fab. Fab had her face pressed against the glass, breathing on it to create fog. Zim's cheek twitched very violently.  
"Yessss, she is my cousin. My rather insane cousin... We had her put away... faaar faaar away... but they let her go," he continued. "She was tooooo daaangerous for them. So they sent her back. You must ignore her! Ignooore her or she might harm you! SHE BITES! BITES! BIIIITES!"  
Fab giggled and sketched pictures of bunnies in the fogged up window. Dib blinked, then smirked and tapped on the window. Fab blinked, then stared up at Dib with her bright eyes.  
"DO NOT GAIN HER ATTENTION!" Zim warned. "She will DESTROY US ALLLLLL!"  
"She's outside," Dib snorted. "What harm can she-,"  
WHAM!  
"... do?"  
Fab shook her head, dazed, before peering back at the window. She then leaned back and slammed her head in to the glass once more. She continued to bang her head against the window, the glass slowly shattering before exploding with a crack. Fab squealed, delighted, and climbed in through the broken window. She stood on the windowsill, then flipped through the air and landed on Ms. Bitter's desk. She waved her arms, cackling.  
"HIIIIIIIIIII! I'M FAB" she repeated. Zim banged his head against his desk and grunted.  
"Could this get any worse?" he muttered. At that moment, it did.  
Fab's eyes took a very familiar, evil glint.  
"Now that I have greeted you... iI MUST GIVE YOU A HUG,/i"  
Pandemonium broke out as Fab lunged at every child she could, attempting to hug them tightly. The human children shrieked and leapt out of their chairs, fleeing from the Irken, as she chased them over desks and around the room.  
Maniacal laughter issued as the children ran back and forth, pursued by Fab. Zim sat in his chair, slowly banging his head on the desk. Dib walked over to Zim, a sly grin on his face.  
"So you called for reinforcements?" he purred. Zim lifted his head, casting Dib a blurry glare.  
"Does she look helpful to you?" he growled.  
"If your plan involves driving everyone insane with pure stupidity... yes!" Dib snickered. Zim scowled at Dib, then stood up. Dib blinked in surprise as Zim turned and began to wave his arms.  
"FAAAAAB! FAAAAAAAB!" he cried. Fab skidded to a stop and blinked, suddenly forgetting the cowering children. "I want to introduce you to someone, Fab!" Zim grinned. Dib blinked again. Zim pointed at Dib, smirking. "Meet Dib!"  
"HI DIB!" Fab squealed. Then, she grinned viciously. "Now that I have greeted you... iI MUST GIVE YOU A HUG,/i"  
Dib stared, like a deer in headlights, as the green alien lunged at him and hugged him tightly. Fab squeezed, her arms crushing Dib in to a powerful embrace, as the human squirmed and shrieked like a pig.  
"That will be quite enough," Ms. Bitters hissed, like a cobra about to strike. Fab blinked and turned to peer at the teacher, arms still firmly wrapped around Dib. Dib squirmed, but could not break the alien's grip. The rest of the children, who sensed that it was once again safe, returned to their seats and looked at their teacher. "There has been enough happiness and hugs for one day. You seem to forget how pathetic and miserable your lives are," she continued. Fab blinked and tilted her head. "You're all doomed, after all... doomed... doomed... doomed... doomed... doomed...,"  
Fab's eyes widened with each 'doom'. Her entire body began to twitch as her expression grew demented. Dib and Zim stared at Fab, unable to comprehend what was happening. Fab dropped Dib, carelessly, and whirled to face the teacher. Ms. Bitters didn't notice the alien, her voice continuing to drone.  
"Doomed... doomed... doomed...,"  
"HOW DAAAAAAAAAARE YOOOOU," Fab shrieked, pointing a gloved claw at Ms. Bitters. Ms. Bitters snapped her head about to stare at Fab, surprised at being interrupted. "HOW DAAAARE YOU SING THE DOOM SONG IN MY PRESEEENSE!" Fab shrieked. Zim blinked, then choked.  
"NO! Fab! It is not the Doom song!" Zim cried. "It is A Doom Song... but not THE-,"  
"YOU ARE MISTAKEN if you believe that you can defeat MEEEE with the mindnumbing Doom Song!" Fab hissed, her eyes taking an insane gleam. "I! Who knows the only song powerful enough to counteract the DOOM SONG and bring any opponent to THEIR KNEEEEEEES! I SHALL SHOW YOU MY MIGHT! I SHALL SING..."  
"Fab! YOU CAN'T!" Zim yelped. "Not that-! NOT THE-,"  
"... the Happy Happy Happy song," Fab breathed. Zim wailed, as if he had been struck, and dove under his desk. Dib scrambled up from the floor, then stared down at Zim in wonder.  
"The Happy Happy Happy song?" Dib repeated. Zim hissed and covered his 'ears'. Dib's eyebrows quirked. "What's so bad about a song with a name like that!?"  
As if answering Dib's questions, Fab flipped backwards and landed on the desk. She quickly pulled out a guitar from her cute Irken backpack, then twirled it. The guitar was pink, with glittering stars and long white ribbons.  
Fab grinned, her fingers suddenly strumming a cheerful tune upon the guitar strings. Zim cringed, curling up under his desk, as Ms. Bitters stared.  
"It's aaaaaa... happy happy hap hap happy happy happy song! It's a happy happy hap hap happy happy all day long!" she sang. The song seemed to grow louder with each strum of the guitar, echoing in everyone's ears. "It's a happy happy hap hap happy happy happy day! It's a happy happy hap hap happy happy happy game to play!"  
"What is this?" Dib muttered. His eyes drifted to Ms. Bitters, then widened in alarm. The teacher was twitching, a freaked expression on her face.  
"It's a happy happy hap hap happy happy happy time to hug! It's a happy happy hap hap happy happy place to kiss and snug!" Fab continued to sing. Ms. Bitters backed up against the wall, her breathing ragged. "It's a happy happy hap hap happy happy happy love for you and me! It's a happy happy hap hap happy happy happy treeeee!"  
"Tree?" Zim blinked.  
"It's a happy happy hap hap happy happy happy treeeeee!" Fab repeated.  
"Tree?" Dib itched his chin.  
"It's a happy happy hap hap happy happy... iPINK BUNNY/i," Fab suddenly roared. Hundreds of pink bunnies leapt through the broken window, in to the classroom. They surrounded the teacher, wiggling their whiskers and ears. Ms. Bitters shrieked in agony and collapsed to the floor. She twitched, violently, and clawed at her ears.  
"The bunnies...! The bunnies!" Ms. Bitters choked.  
"The horror... the horror," Zim sighed, covering his eyes and shaking his head. Fab continued to strum, singing loudly, as she slowly approached the convulsing teacher. When she was only a foot away, the alien stopped and ceased strumming. Then, she leaned down and kissed Ms. Bitters on the nose.  
Ms. Bitters shrieked, as if she had been burned, and promptly fainted. The children stared in stupified silence as Fab put away her guitar, put her hands on her hips, and nodded sagely.  
"My work here is done," she said, solemnly.  
The human children stared, unable to comprehend what had just happened, as the pink bunnies pranced about the room. Zim looked at Ms. Bitters, then stared at Fab.  
"Now I understand... now I see..," Zim panted. "I see why the Tallest fear Fab so much... I must be careful... caaaareful! Or she might use the dreaded song against ME,"  
A pink bunny leapt on to Zim's head and sat there, looking rather innocent and adorable. Zim glanced up at the bunny, then glared at Fab. Fab blinked cutely and turned to look at Zim. GIR peeked through the window, then snickered.  
"AWWWW! You have a bunny on your head!"  
  
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Getting Fab and GIR back to the house was easier than expected. Since the fiasco with Ms. Bitters, all of the children avoided them. No one had even noticed that GIR spoke, too much in shock from the hideous song. Even Dib seemed uneasy about approaching Zim while he was around Fab.  
There was simply something wrong with a green "child" that sings a happy song.  
Fab and GIR hummed the dreaded song as they danced around in the kitchen, oblivious to the trouble they had caused Zim. Zim sighed, rubbing his temples, and took off his disguise. He cast the two maniacs in the kitchen an irritated gaze, though both were too busy dancing to their own tune to notice.  
Zim shook his head, then began to send his report to the Tallest. The picture frame flipped about, revealing a large screen that quickly came to life. Zim tapped his foot, impatiently, then blinked as words appeared on the screen.  
"Hello, you have reached the Tallest Answering Machine. They are currently away, eating things most edible and watching things most watchable. Please leave a message and they'll probably respond to you. Unless you're Zim,"  
Zim cleared his throat, as if not comprehending the last sentences.  
"It is I, ZIM! I have come to report a strange occurance of greeaaaat importance! The dreaded Fab has come to Earth and is... singing... and hugging... and stuff. I would like to report that she SEEEEMS harmless enough... but I WIIIILL contact you if anything changes!" he said, allowing the Irken answering machine to take his message. When he had finished, the screen beeped and then went dark. Zim nodded, content.  
"Now then... it is time to get to business!" Zim crossed his arms and strode in to the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks and stared. Hundreds of pink bunnies filled the room, sitting on anything solid. The counters, table, floor, and refridgerator were covered with cute little puffs of pink fur. All of the adorable rabbits turned to stare at Zim, wiggling their cute noses and twitching their long ears.  
"W-what... is... this?" Zim choked, backing away for the door. His eyes sought out GIR and Fab. The two were sitting on the table, covered in rabbits, while eating cupcakes. They glanced at Zim and waved.  
"HIIIIII!" they called. Zim muttered under his breath and put his claws on his hips.  
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?"  
"The bunnies were hungry," GIR replied. Zim scowled, then blinked as Fab cast him an odd look.  
"Now that I have greeted you...," she began. Zim turned on his heel and ran from the room, screaming. 


	4. Super Sugary Goodness and Student IDs

WARNING: THIS is where the DRAMA begins! BWAHAHAHA! ... Yes. Cool. Hehehe. :D Anyway... a really good friend of mine drew some fantastic pictures of FAB! WEE! I'm gonna see if I can get her permission to list their links in the warning to the next chapter, if anyone's interested! She draws GOOOOOOOOD. XD  
  
  
Chapter Three: Super Sugary Goodness and Student IDs  
  
  
Zim curled up under the warm red blanket of his 'normal boy' Earth stinkbeast bed. It was soft, warm, and germ-free. Zim couldn't ask for anything more. His entire room was neat and tidy, having been modeled after the 'normal' rooms he saw on the television. The carpets were a soft tan, contrasting the dull red of the walls. The bed sheets matched the rest of the room, with its ruby background decorated with small prints of Earth. Small signs decorated various corners of the wall, proclaiming Zim's normalness.  
In fact, Zim couldn't be farther from normal if he tried.  
Zim was oblivious to such a fact as he slept, peacefully. The sun creeped in through the window, but was generally ignored.  
Nothing could wake him...  
"Hehehe,"  
Except for that, perhaps.  
Zim opened his eyes, slowly. He blinked, then paled. Fab and GIR where peering down, sitting on either side of him. They had huge grins on their face, immensely proud of themselves. Zim could only shudder to think what that might mean.  
"We made breakfast," GIR announced.  
Zim closed his eyes and buried his face in his pillow.  
"Come see! Come see!" Fab chanted, grabbing Zim's legs and yanking. After a brief struggle, Zim found himself downstairs and in the kitchen.  
The kitchen was in shambles, with bags of sugar ripped open while small pigs feasted upon the insides. The refridgerator was open, its contents on the floor, and the sink was overflowing a bizarre glowing purple liquid.  
'Breakfast' was, in fact, a large box of Sugar Coated Sugary Sugar Cubes, stuffed with tacos and little blue pixie sticks. Pink brainfreezies had been dumped in to the box as well, creating a disgusting goop of sugary nastiness that seemed to seep through the cardboard and on to the table.  
Zim stared, stupidly, as GIR scooped up a rather large chunk of the 'breakfast' on to a large spoon and offered it to him. Small blobs of brainfreezie and taco dripped off of the spoon before splashing against the floor. GIR grinned and held the spoon up to Zim's face.  
"Wanna taste?!"  
Zim stared, then yelped as a hideous shriek echoed through the house. He whirled to see Fab chasing the robotic parents about, wielding a pixie stick.  
"DO NOT FEAR THE PIXIE STICK. IT IS YOUR FRIEND. IT SHALL NOT HARM YOU!" Fab cried as she attempted to stab the robots. Though the robots were not intelligent, their programming somehow recognized a threat when it saw one. Anything Fab held should be considered a threat.  
Zim blinked slowly, then sighed.  
"I'm going to have to do something about this,"  
  
---------------  
  
"I'm goooing to skooool! I'm goooing to skoool!" Fab sang, skipping happily, as she walked side by side with Zim. Her feet tapped, lightly, against the cement sidewalk as the two aliens made their way towards Skool.  
"Only because I cannot trust you at home," Zim grumbled.  
"You can trust GIR?" Fab glanced at Zim, innocently.  
"... No. SHUT UUUUP!" Zim cried, pointing at Fab. Fab shrugged, then continued to hum. Zim muttered, angrily, to himself as he sulked.  
He continued to sulk even as they stepped on to Skool grounds. The black tarred lot opened before them, littered with rusty playground equipment and the hated red brick building that was Skool. Hundreds of human children scrambled about, attempting to enjoy what little time they had left to play before being called in to the building to have their brains warped.  
Zim walked over to the jungle gym, gesturing at Fab to follow. Fab skipped over, giggling. Zim turned to glare at Fab, then took out a collar and leash. Fab blinked as Zim slipped the collar around her neck, attached it to the leash, then tied the other end to one of the bars of the jungle gym.  
"STAY," Zim commanded. Fab blinked and looked at the leash. Zim sighed and proceeded towards the doors to Skool, glancing back to make sure Fab was obeying.  
Fab blinked once more, then tugged aimlessly on the leash.  
  
-------------------------  
  
"Due to recent events... your normal teacher, Ms. Bitters, is in the hospital with a coma," a large woman muttered. She wore a large, dark green army uniform. It hugged her rather large body as a black helmet covered her head. "She should be back eventually... but until then... you little monsters will be under the care of ME," she snapped, using her handheld switch to point at her dog tag. "SARGE SADO MASOCHIST!"  
Zim sighed; he was already missing Ms. Bitters.  
"Thanks alot, Zim," one of the girls hissed.  
"It's not my fault, stinkbeast," Zim grunted.  
"Sure it's not,"  
Zim winced as a pencil was bounced off of the back of his head. He glanced up and growled as Dib grinned at him. Dib was obviously enjoying the fact that Zim was being blamed for what Fab had done. No one felt sorry for Ms. Bitters; they felt sorry for themselves. Their substitute teacher didn't seem any more pleasant than their real teacher, which was a feat all its own.  
Zim sighed and leaned his elbows against the desk as the Sarge began to rant about discipline and pain. She droned on and on, suddenly forgetting there was other life in the room, as she beat her switch against the blackboard.  
Zim blinked as he heard the children begin to mutter about him, casting him dirty gazes. He didn't know what they were planning, but he had a feeling it wasn't going to be good. He watched the clock, his entire body tense.  
The day seemed to go slowly, minutes dripping by before turning in to hours. Finally, the bell rang. Zim jumped out of his seat and darted down the hall. He silently scolded himself for being edgy; they were only stinkbeast children. What sort of Irken Invader worries about the plots of foolish worm babies? Zim was about to stop when another thought crossed his mind: Fab.  
He had left her alone for hours. Zim paled and continued to run. He had to find out if Fab had stayed or was wrecking extreme stupidity somewhere. His entire mission could be jeopordized.  
Zim panted as he darted for the door, then yelped as a large body suddenly leapt in to the way and blocked him. He skidded to a stop, then stared up to see a large seventh grader standing in his way. The child was abnormally large, with a disgusting mixture of muscles and fat. His eyes bugged out, as if they were too large for his skull, and his cheeks wiggled with each breath. His short orange hair clung to his face, dripping with sweat and grease. His green tank top and baggy gray sweatpants were too small for his body, which truly made him the ultimate human stinkbeast.  
"So you're that Zim kid, eh?" he growled, his voice deep and throaty.  
"What do you want, stinkbeast!? I have important things to do!" Zim snarled. The large seventh grader sneered, cracking his large knuckles.  
"You're related to that freak tied to the jungle gym, aren't you?" he snapped. Zim blinked repeatedly. "She's been singing some stupid song about you... Anyone who's related to that idiot deserves everything he gets,"  
Zim blinked, then stared as the older boy approached with a vicious chuckle.  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
------------------  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"  
Fab jerked, eyes widening, as the sound seemed to vibrate through her body. She glanced over her shoulder, eyes widening slowly. She was surrounded by children, but their voices seemed to shift to a muted whisper as everything focused in on one thing.  
Zim stumbled through the door, falling roughly on to the pavement, as a large greasy human chased after him. Zim seemed to snarl at the human, but he was undoubtably afraid. He didn't have any weapons, and the human obviously intended upon harming him.  
Fab blinked repeatedly as the human lunged forward and grabbed Zim by the shirt. The smaller Irken kicked and snarled insults, but was helpless to escape. The human shook Zim violently, then reared back his fist.  
Fab blinked as children huddled in to the windows, watching. They seemed to enjoy the show, cheering on the human. Fab continued to stare, as if mesmermized.  
  
GIR cackled, running around the living room while holding a pig high over his head. The pink animal blinked, wiggling its hooved feet and large pink ears as it was hoisted above the S.I.R's head.  
"WEEEEE!"  
GIR skidded short and stared as the suddenly portrait flipped over to reveal the communications screen. Bright red words flashed across the screen, signaling that an incoming transmission was coming.  
GIR continued to stare as an image of the Tallest appeared. The two Irkens looked rather concerned, despite the fact that they were gorging themselves upon snackfood.  
"Zim! Zim?" the Tallest Purple glanced about for sight of the smallest Invader. "... We finally return one of his calls and the little bugger isn't even THERE?" he blinked, bewildered.  
"HI!" GIR cried. The Tallest blinked, then glanced down at the S.I.R.  
"... Well, I... guess you could tell that twit Zim...," The Tallest Purple muttered. He cleared his throat. "Don't you dare mess around with her, Zim! The idea of you harboring FAB almost made us choke on our corndogs. Fab is very dangerous, far too dangerous for just ANYONE to deal with... and not because of these 'hugs'. She's actually...,"  
"She's freakin' insane," the Tallest Red interrupted. The Tallest Purple cast his companion a glance, then sighed and shook his head.  
"She has issues,"  
"I have issues!" GIR cried.  
"... Yes, you do," Tallest Purple sighed. "Anyway... Fab's Irken brain was unable to handle the full powers of the dreaded song... that is why the song is so, well, dreaded,"  
"I like singing," GIR squealed. Tallest Purple chose to ignore GIR and continued.  
"In an act of self defense against the pinkness, Fab's personality split in two. There's Fab...," Purple glanced at his companion.  
"... And then there's something else ENTIRELY," Red finished.  
  
Fab's entire body began to twitch, her eyes glazing over. Her breathing became ragged as the spasms increased. The children about her stopped and stared, confusion written across their chubby faces.  
With a strangled cry, Fab hunched forward and began to shiver.  
  
"She's emotionally unstable," Tallest Purple said, then cast GIR a gaze. "Yes, I know. You are, too,"  
"YAY!" GIR squealed.  
"Why is that thing even working, anyway?" Tallest Red muttered, glancing at Tallest Purple. "We made it out of garbage!"  
"Advanced garbage," Tallest Purple shrugged. "Anyway... we're not sure why or how... but sometimes, some unknown force triggers a reaction inside of Fab and...,"  
"She loses it," Red nodded, sagely.  
  
Fab began to sputter as a sickening noise issued from her body. It sounded like the crunching of bone, as if her body were re-arranging itself. Slowly, her form began to increase in size. Her muscles grew, as did her arms and legs. Humongous spikes sliced through her skin as a long, reptilian tail popped out of her body and slithered back and forth. The collar around her neck ripped, like tissue paper.  
  
"Her ID is released," Purple peered at GIR. "... You do know what an ID is, don't you?"  
"... Um... YES!" GIR cried. He blinked, then tapped his metal chin. "... No?"  
"... It's her inner self. The part of her that couldn't co-exist with the Dreaded Song-That's-Name-Is-Forbidden-To-Speak-Even-Though-That-In-Itself-Is-A-Name. Her dark impulses and general nastiness," Purple attempted to explain. "Do you understand?"  
"YES!" GIR shook his head.  
"... Oh forget it," Purple sighed, massaging his temple. "Just tell Zim to send Fab back to our home planet for treatment... and that he'd better not set her off...,"  
  
Fab's eyes blazed a brilliant gold, the contact lenses popping out of her eyes as her teeth became hideous fangs. Saliva dripped down the corner of her mouth, forming a massive puddle at her feet. Her wig clung, desperately, to her head. The human children stared in pure shock as Fab stumbled forward, her legs now powerful haunches, and reared back. She let out an animalistic roar, her tail snapping down on the jungle gym and bending it as if it were made of wet noodles.  
  
"... Or he's in for a very nasty surprise," 


	5. Cupcakes Save Lives

Warning: Bwahaha, scariness... and then sugary goodness. Weee. *looks around* Did I scare everyone away? 'cause no one reviewed the other chapter, save MY GOOD FRIEND(HIIIIIII!!!!). I am so scary. ;_;  
  
  
Chapter Four: Cupcakes Save Lives  
  
  
The children backed away, warily, as Fab rotated her shoulders and snapped her jaws together. Spit splattered across the ground, dripping heavily, as she began to move towards the building. Her footsteps rumbled as her mighty claws cracked the pavement.  
A deep rumble rose from her chest as her eyes narrowed, dangerously.  
The greasy human child glanced up, his fist still posed to strike Zim, and froze in his place. Zim blinked, noting the human's horrified expression, and peered over his shoulder.  
Zim immediately regretted doing so.  
Fab towered over the two, heaving as her tail lashed back and forth. She leaned over, her face only a few inches away from them, and snorted. The seventh grader promptly soiled himself, and Zim barely avoided doing the same.  
"W-w-w-what i-is that thing...," the human whimpered. Zim's eyes focused on the large gold heart clinging to her chest.  
"Fab...?" Zim stared.  
Fab's lips curled up in a snarl, then took a deep breath and bellowed in the two's faces. A spray of gooey saliva showed upon them, propelled by the pure force in her voice. The seventh grader stared, the disgusting substance dripping down his face, then dropped Zim and darted away with an undignified shriek.  
Zim yelped as he landed on the ground in a particularly large pile of glop. He looked up, quickly, to see Fab leap over him and chase after the human. Zim realized that he had to do something, and fast. He leapt to his feet, ignoring his current state with a grimace, and darted back inside the building.  
Fab snapped, missing the human by inches and getting a mouth full of asphalt. The enraged Irken tossed her head, spitting out the disgusting chunks of tar, and glanced about to find the human once more.  
The seventh grader hid under a car, then glanced about to see if he had ditched the alien. He was about to sigh with relief when the car crunched violently as Fab jumped on top of it. Fab hissed, twisting her head about to try and snap at the human underneath it. The human shrieked, trying to escape her jaws.  
"FAAAAAAAAAB!"  
Fab snapped her head up, eyes glittering, to look at the source of her name. Zim stood a few feet away from her, his hands behind his back. A low, beastly growl ripped from the depths of her being as she lowered her head in a defiant challenge. Zim gulped.  
"Look, Fab," he attempted to purr, calmly. "I have...," he began, before displaying what he was hiding behind his back. "... CUPCAKES,"  
Two large chocolate cupcakes rested in Zim's gloved claws, the delicious sugary frosting glopped on in abundance. Fab's eyes instantly lit up. Zim grinned, realizing his stroke of genius, and began to wave the two desserts back and forth. Fab's eyes locked on Zim's hands, following the cupcakes' every movement. Zim suddenly whirled and threw the cupcakes across the lot.  
"GO! Devour that Sugary Goodness!" he cried. Fab lunged, roaring, and chased after the cupcakes. She made an odd purring noise, that sounded like a mixture between a car engine and a machine gun.  
Fab darted forward and devoured the cupcakes, as well as the ground underneath it. Then, much to Zim's amazement, Fab began to shrink. Within seconds, she was her normal size once more. She blinked, then licked her claws. Her wig, which had somehow managed to stay on her head during the entire ordeal, clung to her like a wet rag. Her contact lenses were gone, but her back was to the children so they did not see the obvious alien pupils. Zim sighed, then carefully approached. He pulled out a spare pair of contact lenses and put them on Fab, before anyone could notice. He then helped Fab to her feet.  
"Sugary goodness," Fab purred.  
"Shut up," Zim grunted.  
"See!? SEE!? She's an ALIEN!"  
Zim cringed as he glanced over his shoulder to see Dib pointing at them, wildly.  
"You can't POSSIBLY tell me that THAT is NORMAL!" the human shrieked. The children shivered uncontrollably, glancing from Dib to Zim. Zim gulped, then straightened his back and glared.  
"INSOLENT SKOOL BOY!" Zim roared. "It's a MENTAL CONDITION!"  
"Much like your skin condition!?" Dib sneered. "Come on, you can't expect us to believe that!"  
The children muttered in agreement.  
"Even if it was your father who said it?" Zim asked, sweetly. The children instantly snapped to attention, staring at Zim.  
"My father?" Dib repeated, confused.  
"Hoh hoh hoh!" Zim chuckled, though he was obviously nervous. He attempted to keep his smile superior and condescending, despite the huge droplets of sweat that dripped down the sides of his face. "Did you not watch your father's show yesterday!?" he asked, defiantly, as he pointed at Dib. "IF YOU HAD... you would have known all about Fab's condition!"  
"What are you talking about!?" Dib growled.  
"Professor Membrane talked all about it on Prodding the Membrane of Science!" Zim cried.  
"Probing," Dib corrected. Zim ignored him and squared his shoulders.  
"Fab has... Psycho-ID-Meta-Physical-Illogically-Unstable-Whatchamacallitisis!" Zim cried. The children gasped, then glanced at each other.  
"I remember hearing about that!" one of the girls whispered. "Isn't that when a person's emotions break free or something?"  
"Yeah! And they manifest as a fit, a temper tantrum, or...,"  
"Or a giant, drooling, hideous beast," Zim added, smiling sweetly. The children blinked once more, then rubbed the back of their heads.  
"That makes sense," the boy from the front row admitted.  
"NO IT DOESN'T!" Dib shrieked, clenching his fists and waving them in the air. "It's not supposed to be taken LITERALLY! SHE'S AN ALIEN!"  
"Now now, Dib," Zim crooned. "Are you saying that Professor Membrane... the greatest scientist ever and your FATHER... is WRONG?"  
The children gasped and stared at Dib, dumbfounded. Dib quivered with rage and pointed at Fab. Fab blinked, sucking on her fingers.  
"SHE... IS... AN... ALIEN!" he repeated.  
"Hey, man. What's with you?" one of the kids hissed. "You should know that your dad's never wrong!"  
"Like that WIERDO would ever know more about ANYTHING than the PROFESSOR," the blonde, popular girl snorted. Dib stood, downright dumbfounded, as the children began to disperse.  
"What is wrong with everyone!?" Dib breathed. He glanced up, then snarled as Zim grinned happily at him. "You think you're so clever, Zim... but you'll see... I'll expose you AND that... that... that...,"  
"Fab?" Zim offered.  
"... You'll see, Zim! VENGEANCE SHALL BE MINE!" Dib cried. He blinked, then glanced down. Fab grinned at him, holding out her hand. In it was half a cupcake, the crumbs all over her claws and falling to the ground.  
"I like you," Fab giggled. Dib stared at Fab, stupified. Fab grinned even more and shoved the remains of the cupcake in Dib's mouth, then turned and walked away. Zim stared, cheek twitching. He sighed and followed after Fab, hanging his head in defeat.  
Dib continued to stare, then chewed on the cupcake.  
  
----------------------  
  
"I tell you, Gaz... the world is in even more danger than before!" Dib muttered. "Now there's two of them!"  
"I know," Gaz muttered, her head bowed as her fingers tapped furiously on her Game Slave. "You're one of them,"  
"We've got to do something...," Dib growled. "No one believes... so it's got to be you and me,"  
"I'm busy," Gaz replied, her eyes still glued to the screen. Dib glanced at his sister, then scowled.  
"This is the FATE OF THE WORLD-!"  
"The fate of the world can wait until after I beat this game," Gaz grunted. Dib sighed and massaged his temples.  
"Don't you care!?" he cried. "Don't you see that-"  
Dib blinked and whipped his head about to stare. He reached out and grabbed Gaz's shirt, then tugged. Gaz came to a stop, paused her game, and gave Dib a poisonous look.  
"You're touching me," Gaz growled.  
"G-Gaz... LOOK," Dib yelped. He pointed across the street, his arm shaking. "It's... HER!"  
Gaz arched an eyebrow and gazed across the street. Fab cackled, happily, as she walked out of a bakery. Her arms were filled with cupcakes and cookies, covered with various colored frostings, though many were instantly shoved in her mouth. Crumbs sprayed about as she cackled, momentarily forgetting to chew. Suddenly, she came to a stop and blinked. She stared at Gaz and Dib, then squealed happily and ran across the street.  
"H-how? Why?! I thought Zim...," Dib yelped.  
"Why don't you ask her," Gaz snorted. She turned and began to walk away, returning to her game.  
"Shhhh," Fab hissed, playfully, as she carried her pastries. "Zim is looking for meeee,"  
"Um... are you playing hide and seek?" Dib coughed. Fab nodded, vigorously. "... Does Zim know?"  
Fab shook her head, then cackled.  
"I ran 'cross the street when he wasn't looking," she said, solemnly. She looked up and displayed the desserts in her arms. "I saw cupcakes!"  
Dib blinked slowly, then turned and darted after Gaz. Fab blinked, then shoved the rest of the cupcakes in her mouth and ran after. Dib glanced back, then paled.  
"She's FOLLOWING us!" Dib whispered.  
"So?" Gaz muttered.  
"She's an ALIEN!" Dib hissed. He suddenly stumbled, and then whirled to see that Fab had somehow confiscated his trench coat. Fab grinned, then quickly slipped on the trench coat and twirled about.  
"Weeeeee!"  
"HEY! Give that back!" Dib growled. Fab glanced at Dib, then leaned close. Dib blinked repeatedly, then squeaked when Fab grabbed his glasses and yanked them off of his face. Dib fumbled about, blind, as Fab put on the glasses.  
"Eeeee!" Fab gasped, momentarily dazed by the magnification of the glasses. She then came to a stop and giggled. She posed, dynamically, and scowled. "Blaaaaaah! Blah blah blaaah! BLAAAAH! Blaaaaaaah," she growled.  
"She does a very good impression of you," Gaz said, calmly, as she continued walking.  
"She does not!" Dib snapped. He reached out and grabbed Fab, roughly. "Give me back my glasses!"  
Fab whimpered as Dib grabbed his glasses, then returned them to their original place. He blinked, then scowled when he realized that Fab had drawn small bunnies on them. He took off his glasses, then cleaned them with his shirt. When the drawings were gone, he put the glasses back on his face.  
Dib glared at Fab, who sniffled at him, and extended his hand.  
"Give me my trench coat," he snarled. Fab's lower lip quivered, but she obeyed. She took of the coat and put it, folded up, in Dib's hand. Dib quickly slipped on his coat, only to cringe at the sticky frosting that now covered the coat. He looked up and snarled at Fab once more, before turning to follow Gaz. He only made a couple steps before he felt Fab's arms wrap around his waist, tightly.  
"HUUUUG!" Fab cried as she nuzzled Dib.  
"WAUGH!" Dib squealed. "What is she doing!?"  
"She's hugging you," Gaz replied.  
"NO!" Dib choked. "She's trying to impregnate me!"  
"You're a freak," Gaz sighed. "Should I leave you and your girlfriend alone?"  
"GAZ! This is SERIOUS-!" Dib hissed. He quickly broke off and blinked. His eyes lit up as he tapped his chin. "Wait... I can capture her!"  
"Looks like she captured you, first," Gaz muttered. Dib ignored her as he began to walk, testingly, down the sidewalk. Fab's heels dragged against the ground, but she didn't let go. A sinister smirk spread across his face. He began to run after Gaz, chuckling as Fab continued to hold on to him.  
"Now don't let go," Dib smirked.  
"OOOOOKAAAAAAAAY!" Fab sang, nuzzling her chin against Dib.  
"So you like it now?" Gaz inquired. Dib grinned widely.  
"I can drag her home... take pictures of her without her disguise... and maybe... maybe even use her as bait for Zim!" Dib hissed. "Ohhh yessssss... vengeance SHALL be MINE!"  
"Will there be cupcakes?" Fab asked, innocently. Dib paused, then glanced down at the alien.  
"... Probably," Dib admitted.  
"YAY!" 


	6. Do Not Resist The Game

Warning: Bwhahahahahhaaaaa... well now. This is mostly my time to... LIST THE URLS TO THE AWESOME PICTURES THAT WERE DONE OF FAB BY MY GOOD AND VERY TALENTED FRIEND DAIMERA. YESSSSS. Gooooooood art. YESSS. Do NOT steal them... Or you will see a side of myself that is so mean, nasty, vindictive, and cold that you'd wish you hadn't.  
  
http://rosewily.tripod.com/CGFabBiopic.jpg  
http://rosewily.tripod.com/Fab1.jpg  
http://rosewily.tripod.com/FabBiopic.jpg  
http://rosewily.tripod.com/Fab-DDR.gif  
http://rosewily.tripod.com/Fab-Insane-Concept.gif  
  
  
Chapter Five: Do Not Resist The Game  
  
  
"Now then," Dib purred as he secured the padlock on a large steel cage. Fab watched Dib through the bars, sitting in the center of the cage. She tilted her head, the ponytail of her wig bouncing back and forth. Dib sneered, leaning back to cackle in a self-appreciating manner. "I just need to get my camera and take pictures of you without your disguise. THEN... THEN I'll send some to Zim so he'll run over to try and rescue you... and get captured too!" Dib cackled. Fab blinked, then glanced about Dib's room.  
Dib turned on his heel and strolled over to his bed, where he grabbed a large camera and twenty rolls of film.  
"Say cheese," Dib snickered, turning to face Fab with the camera.  
Atleast, he would have been facing Fab if Fab had been in the cage.  
Dib blinked repeatedly, then glanced around.  
"W-wha!? Where'd she go!?"  
A thunderstorm of footsteps and scrambling soon issued through the house as Dib searched, frantically, for his "prisoner". He darted down the stairs, then came to a screeching halt.  
Fab calmly sat on the couch next to Gaz, her large eyes fixed on the television. Gaz held on to a large controller, her expert fingers moving about as she played.  
"What's going on!?" Dib cried.  
"Shhhh," Fab hissed. "She's playing a gaaaame,"  
"Huh?" Dib stared.  
"She's PLAYING a GAME," Fab repeated, as if frustrated with Dib's obvious lack of sense. "On the Dreamclash!"  
"I've only got a few more characters to obliterate on Capcom vs. SNK... my EX Benimaru, Sakura, EX Yuri, and King team is destroying all opposition in my path... and if you make me lose all of my hard earned points... and prevent me from unlocking Akuma... who is the last character I need to unlock... I WILL DESTROY YOU," Gaz growled.  
"SO HUSH," Fab snapped. Dib could only stare, uncertain of what to say.  
Fab kicked her feet and watched Gaz, her eyes shimmering happily. Dib scowled and slunk over to the couch, then flopped down by Fab with a sigh. He reached over and picked up one of his magazines off of the coffee table, flipping it open. Fab blinked and glanced at Dib, then at the magazine. Her eyes wandered to the coffee table, where they fell upon a newspaper. Her eyes widened drastically.  
Plastered on the newspaper was a large ad, covered with skimpily dressed dancers and flashing lights. Large words decorated the ad.  
"Dance Dance Revolution Competition at the Rave Center in town! Come and dance, dance, dance! Today at 6:00!"  
Fab leapt to her feet, clenching her fists.  
"I AM GOD OF DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!" she shrieked. She whirled and grabbed Dib by the wrist, then leapt off of the couch and darted towards the door. Dib squealed as he found himself dragged outside.  
"W-W-WAAAAIT!" Dib shrieked. "Where are we GOING!?"  
Fab glanced back at Dib, sneering evilly as she ran down the street.  
"To... DANCE,"  
  
-------------------------  
  
"Fab?" Zim blinked as he peered inside a trash can. He scowled, finding nothing but stinky garbage, and slammed down the lid. He put his claws on his hips and huffed. "Where is she?!"  
He glanced about, brushing back his wig with an irritated sigh.  
"Perhaps she has already returned to the house?" he muttered. He glanced along the sidewalk, then down towards the heart of the city. He sighed, wearily. "No, that would take a miracle. And Invaders do not rely on miracles!" he grunted. "She is most likely in the heart of enemy territory... and I must find her before...,"  
Zim shivered, then scowled.  
"Before she does something istupid/i,"  
  
----------------------------  
  
iBoom, boom, boom, boom!/i  
iShoot you like a bombar!/i  
iBoom, boom, boom, boom!/i  
iAt your order!/i  
iBoom, boom, boom, boom!/i  
iPushing all the buttons!/i  
iMore!/i  
iTime!/i  
  
Fab cackled, insanely, as she watched the current competitor dance upon the flashing platform. Light flashed as people cheered; the room was packed with hundreds of humans who sat and watched the dancers or waited for their turn in the competition. Dib sighed and glanced at Fab, who twisted and squirmed with excitement.  
Much to Dib's chargin, the two had made it to the arcade just in time for Fab to register for the competition. She turned to grin, happily, at Dib. Dib's cheek twitched as he buried his face in his hands.  
The music abruptly stopped as the dancer on the platform posed, grinning widely as the crowd applaused. Fab clapped, hysterically, as Dib responded with a more unenthusiastic round of applause.  
The a tall man stood on the platform, grinning as he gestured for silence. He was rather skinny with a crop of red hair on the top of his head and oddly shaped glasses. He swore a light green shirt and a long black trenchcoat, much like Dib's, with matching black pants. The man cleared his throat and held the microphone to his mouth.  
"Now its time for our Dynamite Rave doubles!" he cried. The crowd shrieked, happily. Fab waved her arms, hysterically. "I give you... Fab!"  
Fab leapt to her feet and darted over to the platform, which caused an explosion of whispers and muttering.  
"She's so short! How can she be any good at DDR?!"  
"Why's she green?"  
"Hey, wait! Isn't that the girl my brother saw the other day!? He said she rocked!"  
"Huh,"  
"I wonder if she really is any good,"  
Fab grinned, then turned to face the machine. Music began to pour from the DDR machine as the Irken-in-disguise began to dance.  
To everyone's astonishment, Fab wasn't just good at Dance Dance Revolution; she was perfect. She twirled and danced about, her feet hitting their mark every time. She easily made up her lack of height and length of legs by performing intricate flips and twirls, which brought the crowd in to a raving frenzy.  
Many of the humans leapt to their feet, shrieking and waving their arms in a gesture not much different than worship. Dib stared, unable to comprehend what was occurring.  
As the song finally came to an end, Fab turned to grin at her audience.  
"UNBELIEVABLE!" the announcer gasped as Fab stepped down from the platform. "She totally aced the song! TOTALLY!"  
The crowd's screaming increased in volume as the announcer glanced about.  
"That's going to be an impossible routine to beat!" he said as he glanced about for the unlucky soul who would be competing against Fab. He blinked. "... And it would seem that our next dancer isn't even willing to try. He's gone... which means that Fab is the winner of the Dynamite Rave doubles!"  
Many of the humans nodded, having seen such a move as a good idea. Many of the other competitors seemed rather uneasy about going up against Fab. Fab giggled and sat down next to Dib, who stared at her.  
"... What was that?" he asked, quietly. Fab only snickered in response.  
Off in the far corner, a rather slim woman reclined against the wall. She tapped her foot, slowly, against the floor as she crossed her arms. Her head remained bowed, hidden under a wild crop of long silver hair. She wore black shorts and a matching black tank top, which were so tight that they seemed like a second skin. There were odd neon blue prints on various parts of her body; a heart on the ride side of her chest, a diamond on her left hip, and a teardrop on each hem of her black boots.  
The woman slowly looked up, her eyes sparking, as she looked at Fab. No one seemed to notice as the woman's cheek twitched.  
"... hn,"  
  
-------------------  
  
"Fab!" Zim called as he walked through the streets, glancing back and forth to peer in all of the stores. He couldn't find the gold haired Irken anywhere, which was aggrivating him. He didn't even want to know what sort of mischief she was getting in to.  
Zim sighed and massaged his temples as he walked. He glanced up, scowling. There was an abnormal amount of noise coming from one of the arcades, which wasn't helping his headache.  
The tired Irken dragged his feet, miserable, as he continued down the sidewalk.  
"Where IS she?" he sighed. He slowly approached the arcade, wincing painfully as the noise surged through him. He came to a stop and glared. "Blasted humans and their noisy... noise... things!" he spat. He braced himself and continued walking, desperately trying to ignore his headache.  
"Whoo! Look at her go! Fab is FAAABULOUS!"  
Zim stopped in his tracks, immediately, and looked up to stare in to the arcade. His eyes searched until he found Fab, dancing merrily on a Dance Dance Revolution platform. Fab twisted and twirled about, her movements as fluid as a cat, while the humans applauded her.  
Zim blinked repeatedly, then stormed in to the arcade. He arrived at the edge of the crowd just as Fab leapt down from the platform. She bowed, happily, then blinked and squealed as she saw Zim approach her.  
"ZIM!" she giggled.  
"Zim...," Dib hissed as he struggled to squeeze through the crowd of enthusiastic fans. Zim ignored Dib as he pointed at the entrance.  
"We're going back now," he growled. Fab blinked, then waved her arms.  
"But the competition isn't over yet!" she gasped. "I CAN'T LEAVE NOW!" Zim's cheek twitched violently as he sighed.  
"She's right,"  
Zim jumped, startled, and glanced over his shoulder. Fab blinked and tilted her head, curiously. Standing behind Zim was a lithe woman with spiked silver hair and a tight black outfit. Next to her, looking rather intimidating, was a tall and abnormally scrawny young man with bright gold hair and dark sunglasses. He wore a large black shirt and matching blue jeans, which sported black leather straps around the upper legs. A blue amulet hung around his neck, glittering softly as he adjusted his shades to sneer down at the Irken Invaders.  
"Right about what, stinkbeast?" Zim asked, sharply. The woman grinned and put her hands on her hips.  
"You can't leave NOW," she replied. Zim bristled and pointed a claw at the duo.  
"Are you threatening MEEEE?" he cried, indignant. The woman laughed, quietly, and raised her hands in a show of innocence.  
"No," she said, sweetly. "It's just that, if she leaves, she won't win the competition!"  
Zim scowled, suspiciously, at the woman. The woman grinned, sweetly, and glanced back at her companion. The man nodded, adjusting his shades once more.  
"Of course... if you think Fab isn't good enough to WIN the competition...," he drawled. Fab gasped, then let out a low growl. Zim turned to stare at her in alarm.  
"I... WILL... WIN," Fab snarled. Zim felt sweat form on his brow; he knew that things were no longer in his favor. Fab turned to gaze at Zim, almost daring him to try and make her leave. Zim sighed and glanced at the man and woman.  
"Fine then," he hissed. "She will win this... STINKBEAST competition! And when she does... she will... WIN IT," he said, dynamically. Fab cheered, jumping up and down. The woman grinned and crossed her arms.  
"It'll be a competition to remember," 


	7. Javacola And Paranoia Make Invaders Some...

Warning: I REALLY wanted to send this out on my birthday (October 25th) but Fanfiction.net is cruel and WENT DOWN. *sniff*   
  
Don't try Javacola at home, kiddies. Your head will probably explode. O.o;;;;   
  
ENJOY!   
  
  
Chapter Six: Javacola And Paranoia Make Invaders Something Something   
  
  
Zim scowled as Fab continued to dance on the DDR machine. He tapped his gloved claws, his patience wearing thin as the competition continued along an incredibly slow pace. If Zim didn't know any better, he would have sworn that the competition was going slow just to spite him.   
Fab was thrilled about the entire situation; she watched people dance, then proceeded to trounce them. Zim could see a flicker of her Irken attitude; he could see the flame of Irken ruthlessness and desire to conquer as Fab defeated her foes. Perhaps there was hope for the insane Invader.   
Zim watched Fab, musing, before he suddenly tensed and growled. Dib sneered at Zim from across the crowd as he attempted to get closer. Zim's bad mood increased a-hundredfold.   
"Hello, ZIM," Dib spat.   
"DIB," Zim replied, curtly. He tensed, visibly, as Dib sat down next to him. "What do you want, stinkbeast," he growled.   
"Oh, nothing much," Dib replied. "Just to capture you and see your guts spread across an autopsy table,"   
"Don't you ever get tired of saying that?" Zim grunted. "As if a pitiful little wormbaby could ever do anything to me,"   
"I'll remind you that you said that when you're strapped down and about to be dissected," Dib snickered. Zim's scowl increased.   
"I WON AGAAAAIN!" Fab squealed, her sudden interuption causing Zim to jump. Zim looked up and scowled, then crossed his arms.   
"I've had it," Zim muttered, under his breath.   
"What was that?" Dib growled.   
"None of your business, presumptuous Dib monster," Zim retorted as he stood up. He casually walked over to Fab, who continued to bounce around happily on the machine. "Congradulations, Fab," Zim said, trying not to let his sarcasm creep in to his voice. Fab whirled to face him and cackled happily. "You're rather good at this... dancing... thing," Zim continued as he slowly moved his clawed hand to pull something out of his pocket. He grinned, wolfishly. "You might actually win," he added, his hand slowly pressing the device agains the DDR machine. Fab nodded, happily, then grabbed Zim and dragged him back to their seats.   
"NO ONE can defeat meeee!" Fab giggled, then clapped her hands happily. Zim nodded, smirking, as he sat down. He looked up slightly, then chuckled evilly as a human stepped on to the machine.   
"What did you do, ZIM," Dib growled, his eyes narrowing. Zim blinked at him, innocently.   
"Do? Why would I do anything?" Zim asked, sweetly. Dib narrowed his eyes even more and let out a growl.   
It was at that moment that the DDR machine exploded. People gasped, horrified, as the machine ignited like a roll of newspaper soaked in gasoline. The first explosion seemed to create a chain reaction as, seconds later, all of the other DDR machines burst in to flaming balls. Humans scrambled for the doors, screaming. Fab stared, blinking repeatedly, while Dib dove under the table in alarm.   
Zim blinked innocently, then shrugged.   
"It looks like they'll have to postpone the competition until the machines are repaired! Too bad," he sighed. Fab blinked at Zim and nodded.   
"It blew up," she added.   
"Let's go," Zim said, taking Fab by the hand. "We'll come back when the machines are fixed,"   
Fab didn't have a chance to protest as Zim proceeded to drag her out of the arcade. She blinked, then turned to wave at Dib.   
"BAI BAAAAAI!" she giggled, before immediately disappearing in to the stampeding crowd.   
"W-WAIT! NO-!" Dib yelped. He stared, then clenched his fists. "You may have escaped this time... but you won't be so lucky next time!"   
The silver haired woman reclined against the counter to the snack bar, her cheek twitching violently. She drummed her fingers against the side.   
"Those are going to be hell to replace," she grunted. "We don't have insurance for exploding Dance Dance Revolution machines,"   
"I told you we should have gotten some," her male cohort replied as he scuffled around the snack bar, grabbing various cans of soda.   
"How was I going to foresee something like this?" she retorted, icily.   
"You'll find a way," the gold haired man replied. He set the soda cans in a row, next to a very large glass, then whirled and strode towards the coffee machine. He waited, patiently, as the dark fluid dripped in to a small cup.   
"Atleast we had the walls and floors reinforced with fireproof material," the woman grunted. She watched as the machines burned away to cinders, though the floor and cieling were relatively untouched. "So we just have to replace the machines and not the entire arcade,"   
Her cohort did not respond as he took out the cup of coffee and walked over to the counter. The silver haired woman glanced over her shoulder and scowled.   
"Are you listening?" she asked.   
"No," he replied as he proceeded to pour the coffee in to the large glass cup. Then, he grabbed a can of soda in each hand and shook them violently. The cans hissed as he used his thumbs to open them, then poured the frothing liquid in to the large glass.   
The woman's face twisted with disgust as the fluid mingled to create a thick soup. Her male cohort ignored her looks as he grabbed a pixie stick and used it to stir the concoction. He pulled out the pixie stick, grinning as the fluid melted away the wrapper. He tore away the sticky end and poured the pixie stick in to the glass.   
"... You can't be serious," the woman grunted. Her friend glanced at her, then grinned and picked up the glass.   
"Cheers," he winked, then proceeded to gulp down the liquid of sugary doom. He held his head back as he swallowed the entire liquid, which oozed and left massive deposits of sugar inside the bottom of the cup.   
"... And your stomach still functions?" the silver haired woman stared. The gold haired man turned to look at her, then began to twitch. His eyes widened as a grin crossed his face. His fingers twitched, repeatedly, as his head jerked from side to side.   
"Heh... heh... HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH... java... COLA... JAVA... JAVAJAVAJAVAJAVACOLACOLACOLA!" he squealed. He tiltd his head back and cackled, insanely. "JAVACOLA!"   
The woman blinked slowly, then rubbed her forehead.   
"Caffeine should be considered an illegal substance,"   
  
-------------------------   
  
"Ziiiim,"   
"Shut up,"   
"But Ziiiiiim!"   
"Not now,"   
"ZIIIIIIIIIIM!"   
"QUIET, FOOLISH FAB BEAST!" Zim growled, whirling to glare at the other Irken. Fab blinked repeatedly as Zim seemed to froth at the mouth. "You have no idea how much you've compromised my mission, have you!? Do you even care!?" he growled. Fab blinked slowly and tilted her head.   
"Do you need a hug?" she asked.   
"NO, I DON'T NEED A HUG!" Zim shrieked, clenching his fists. "I need you to be QUIET!"   
"But it's important," Fab protested.   
"IMPORTANT!?" Zim hissed. "Do you even know what that word MEANS?"   
Fab nodded, happily. Zim's scowl increased as his cheek twitched.   
"IMPORTANT is keeping a low profile while we're on this disgusting dirtball! Important is behaving like an INVADER. IMPORTANT is NOT dancing or doing stupid things!" Zim growled. "Whatever you deem important... IS NOT!"   
"This is important," Fab restated.   
"Oh really?" Zim glared. "What is it? You're out of cupcakes? You want to dance? You have to sing a stupid song?"   
"No," Fab replied. "There's someone standing behind you that's about to rip your head off,"   
"Huh?" Zim blinked, then whirled just in time to see a monsterous hand grab his face and lift him up off of the ground. "EYACK!"   
"Well well,"a thickly accented voice hissed. "What have we here? A little green man?"   
Zim paled drastically.   
"Long time no see, eh?" another voice snickered from the shadows. Zim grunted a response, which was muffled by the dark green hand that held his face in a deathgrip. Fab blinked, then peered in to the shadows to see two bizarre creatures that to be aliens. Their skin was a green and tan, respectively, and incredibly rough. One, which stood to the side, was tall and lanky. The alien who held Zim's face so tightly was short, when compared to his partner, and extremely muscular. Both wore massive amounts of black and gray armor, as well as tubes that seemed to go in to their mouths. The two grinned, wickedly, as Zim squirmed and tried to get free.   
"We pay you back," the bulky one growled, his dark yellow teeth glittering as his twin golden orbs flashed with anger. "We smash you. We smash you GOOD,"   
"You really didn't expect us to just give up, did you?" the taller one sneered. "We got a job to do... and you ain't going to stop us this time!"   
"'Cause I smash you good first. THEN we burn planet," the bulky one agreed. He began to squeeze Zim's face, causing the small Irken to kick and squirm in a panicked manner. The two Planet Jackers cackled, delighted at the prospect of revenge.   
"Put him down. Now,"   
"Eh? What was that?" the tall Planet Jacker blinked. He glanced around, warily. "Did you say sumthin'?"   
"It was other tiny green person," the bulky one replied as he peered down at Fab. Fab glared up at the two Planet Jackers, her expression abnormally serious. "You want to be smashed too?" the muscular Planet Jacker hissed, his accent thick.   
"Planet Jackers, eh? What are your names," Fab hissed. "I wish to know what to carve on your tombstones,"   
"Not that it's any of your business... but I'm Nik," the tall one replied, blinking. "And the alien about to smash your friend's face is Oog-Ah,"   
"Who are you?" Oog-Ah grunted. Fab shook her head, chuckling wickedly. Zim's eyes widened in alarm.   
"I thought you had learned not to mess with me when we met last...," she purred, dismissing their questions easily. "Unfortunately for you... you're going to be taught once more,"   
"Huh?" Nik stared. "Is she cracked?"   
"No... I'm Fab," Fab hissed, yer antenni sparking. Both Planet Jackers jumped with alarm and scrambled back. Zim clung to Oog-Ah's hand and tried to free his face, glancing at Fab warily.   
"N-no way," Nik panted. "Fab was... the great general during t-the Triad War!"   
"You is too short to be being her!" Oog-Ah stared, his accent causing his words to slurr. Zim squirmed some more, then hissed in pain when Oog-Ah began to dig his fingers in to the Irken's skin. "That was long ago. Fab disappeared. You are not Fab!" Oog-Ah sneered, his confidence returning.   
"Y-yeah," Nik laughed, putting his hands on his hips. "You ain't her. Besides, the Triad War's over. We ain't at war no more. We have a treaty!"   
Zim squirmed and managed to free up his mouth.   
"You broke the treaty!" Zim snarled. He squealed when Oog-Ah began to squeeze once more, this time sending surges of agony through Zim's skull.   
"This planet wasn't marked... so touch cookies for you," Nik spat. He grinned as Zim flailed, helplessly, as Oog-Ah slowly crushed his skull. Zim squealed in pain and pounded on Oog-Ah's hands, but the Planet Jacker didn't stop. Nik turned to glare at Fab. "So just sit there and be quiet, whoever you are!"   
"I told you. I am Fab," Fab replied, her voice cold. She closed her eyes, then snapped them open and sneered. The heart on her uniform flashed. "And you're dead... you just don't know it yet,"   
Zim's eyes snapped about, though hazed with pain, to stare at Fab. The two Planet Jackers stared in shock as Fab's body began to spasm and change. Her muscles bulged and spikes twisted about, a long reptilian tail lashing back and forth as it splattered the alley with goop.   
Fab's eyes blazed a brilliant gold as she hunched forward, her sharp fangs glittering with saliva, as she wiggled her sharp claws.   
"But...," she continued, her voice deep and menacing. "... you do now,"   
Zim let out a small squeak as the pain intensified through out his skull, causing him to shudder in pain. He felt consciousness slipping away as his arms went limp. He struggled to keep his eyes open, though it was obviously a losing battle.   
Someone moved, though Zim could not see who, and he felt some sticky fluid touch his skin. He could have sworn that someone had screamed...   
The last thing he saw, before slipping in to unconsciousness, was the merciless eyes of Fab as they glittered through the shadows of the alley.   
Then, there was nothing but darkness.   
  
---------------------   
  
"- and so it is with great regret that I must inform you that Frankenchokey is not an actual creature," A tall figure, hidden entirely behind shadows while a glimmer of leather accented its body enough to distinguish it as a female. Twin orbs peered about the room as the figure paced before an assembly of shadowed figures. "Any questions?"   
"Yes, I have one,"   
"What is it?"   
"... Are you absolutely sure Count CocoaFang isn't a REAL vampire...?"   
The woman halted in her pacing and glanced over her shoulder, one of her eyes quirking slightly.   
"... ANYWAY...," the woman continued, her voice carrying a sharp edge of disgust. "Any questions from someone who isn't an idiot?"   
"Excellent work, Agent Draconian," a deep voice purred from a chair at the front of the assembled figures. "Once again, you have proven how valuable you and Agent Chupacabra are to our cause. Without you, we would never have discovered the true whereabouts of the Lockness Monster, Big Foot, and many others. It is such a shame that the creatures escaped once exposed,"   
"Indeed," Agent Draconian replied. "But I suppose that's what happens when you allow incompetent agents to handle such important cases. If either Agent Chupacabra or myself had been involved, I assure you that none of the creatures would have escaped," she added, haughtily.   
"Of course," the deep voice agreed, chuckling. "By the way, how goes the newest investigation?"   
Agent Draconian twirled about on her heel and grinned, though it was more felt than seen.   
"Smoothly, as always," she replied. "We will know soon enough about the status of our newest target, don't worry about that," she continued. "What you need to be concerned with is whether you'll send capable agents to deal with it, if this case proves to be true," The figure stopped and turned to peer, strangely, at the other agents. "We don't want another Werewolf fiasco, do we,"   
A mutter of agreement ripped through the group while a few agents bowed their heads in shame.   
"We will deal with the minor details," the deep voice replied. "I assure you, there will not be a repeat of THAT disaster,"   
"I should hope not," Agent Draconian repeated. She turned on her heel and began to walk away, her heels clicking against the hard, tiled floor. "Now, if you'll excuse me... Agent Chupacabra and I must continue our work. There is much to be done,"   
Without waiting for a response, the woman disappeared in to the shadows themselves. Another figure, who was no doubt Agent Chupacabra, quickly followed her, a pair of shades reflecting the light to create an eerie effect. The agent tossed the other agents a smirk, as well as a two fingered salute.   
"Heh," he said, simply, before he too disappeared in to the darkness.


	8. Kidnap The Scary Monkey For Great Irken ...

Warning: Hehehe, I think I'm crazy. How about you? Someone suggested to me that I write a short fic about Fab's life before she became the Happy Happy Happy Pink Bunny demon that she is now. I dunno. :P Would anyone read it if I wrote it?  
  
  
Chapter Seven: Kidnap The Scary Monkey For Great Irken Justice!  
  
  
Zim groaned and opened his eyes, blearily. He winced in pain as his alien nerves shrieked in defiance, then sighed and forced himself to sit up. He blinked slowly, then glanced about. To his surprise, Zim found himself on the couch of his base. The room was incredibly messy as jars of caramel and fudge covered the floor.  
Zim blinked and glanced about.  
"Where...?"  
"YAY! Master's awake!" GIR cried as he seemingly appeared from nowhere and lunged at Zim. Zim yowled and leapt out of the way, barely dodging GIR. Zim turned to scowl at GIR, then stared in alarm as hot fudge covered him.  
"WHAT... are you DOING!?" Zim roared, pointing at GIR.  
"Taking a bath!" GIR replied, happily.  
"A bath?" Zim repeated. "... With fudge?"  
"YES!" GIR agreed.  
"In what!?" Zim snarled.  
"In the tub," GIR replied.  
"Tub?" Zim stared.  
"Fab ordered it!" GIR giggled.  
"... where IS Fab?" Zim asked, suspiciously.  
"There!" GIR cried, pointing. Zim glanced over his shoulder, then stared in disbelief. Fab strode out of the kitchen, coated from head to toe with dripping hot fudge.  
"Awww," she whined. "We're out of fudge! My bottom's cold!"  
Zim stared, then promptly collapsed in a heap on the floor.  
"Aw, poo," Fab sighed. She turned and walked back in to the kitchen, a full moon exposed. GIR blinked, then cackled and proceeded to jump on Zim.  
"WHEE!" GIR giggled. As he continued to jump, Fab walked in to the room once more. She was totally clean and wearing her rather tattered uniform once more. She dusted herself off and looked at GIR.  
"Wanna go kidnap the Scary Monkey?" she asked.  
"OKAY!"  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
"I had him, Gaz! I HAD HIM!" Dib thundered as he paced the floor behind the couch. Gaz didn't look up as she continued to play her game on the Dreamclash. Her fingers flew across the controller, performing expert techniques as she gave no sign of actually caring what Dib was saying. "He made the machines blow up! I just know it!"  
"You lost Fab, didn't you," Gaz said, suddenly. Dib turned to stare at Gaz. "She was cool,"  
"She's an alien!" Dib roared.  
"She beat the entire game with only Raiden. She's godly," Gaz replied.  
"Is that the only thing important to you?" Dib sputtered, angrily. Gaz looked up, opening an eye.  
"Yes," she replied. After fixing Dib with a sharp glare, she returned her gaze back to her game. Dib stared, then growled to himself and stormed to his room. He collapsed on his bed and sighed.  
"What is wrong with everyone?" he muttered. He rolled on to his back and closed his eyes. After a moment of silence, he reached up and flipped on his radio.  
"And in other news," the radio chimed. "The Scary Monkey from the Scary Monkey show has been monkey-napped!"  
Dib grunted, eyes still closed.  
"The city is in a large scale panic as the police seek the monkey-nappers, with hopes of saving the primate," the radio added.  
Dib snorted and yawned.  
"Only a single note was left where the monkey had been!" the radio continued. "And it reads... 'I like cookies',"  
Dib opened an eye.  
"...,"  
"In addition, deranged pink bunnies are attacking the police officers. These bunnies are, no doubt, accomplices and attempts to arrest them have been made. But they have sharp, pointy teeth. ... And they bite. ... It hurts,"  
Dib opened his other eye.  
"...,"  
  
-----------------------  
  
Zim moaned, once more, and slowly opened his eyes. He blinked once, twice, and then promptly screamed.  
A monkey, grey in color, glared down at Zim and bared its yellow teeth as it sat on his stomach. As Zim screamed, the monkey began to wave its arms in an excited manner and let out a gutteral snarl.  
"WHAT-! HOW-! WHY-! EEEEEEEE!" Zim shrieked as he scrambled back, throwing the monkey off of his chest.  
"HI!" Fab cried, suddenly lunging Zim from behind to hug him. Zim shrieked, then squirmed violently.  
"MASTER!" GIR cried, lunging in a similar fashion to Fab and attaching himself to Zim's other side.  
"FAB!? GIR!?" Zim choked. "... Why is... THAT MONKEY... here!?" he demanded.  
"We kidnapped him," GIR said.  
"We're going to keep him," Fab agreed.  
"WHAT?!" Zim shrieked. The monkey began to hoot, angrily.  
"SHHH!" Fab hissed. "You'll wake the bunnies!"  
"... Bunnies?" Zim stared, then glanced about. The entire room was filled with cute little pink bunnies. Most were sleeping while others seemed to be doing cute bunny things such as hopping, wiggling their noses, and chewing on disembodied legs.  
Zim yowled, jarred out of his musing, when Fab tightened her grip and nuzzled his neck.  
"YAY!" she giggled. "Kidnapping the Scary Monkey's more fun than KILLING!"  
"... ...," Zim stared. His eyes widened, suddenly. "... The Planet Jackers!" he gasped. He glared at Fab, grabbing her cheeks to make her look at him. "FOOLISH FAB! What did you do!? Where are they!? My mission is in jeopo-,"  
"WHEE!" Fab cried as she grabbed Zim's cheeks and started tugging on them, painfully. "Your cheeks are nice and stretchy!" she cried. GIR cackled and reached over to grab Zim's antenni, yanking on them painfully. Zim shrieked and flailed, attempting to dislodge his 'attackers'. The monkey's hooting increased in volume as he began to thrash about. The bunnies wiggled their noses, then returned to their bunny things.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
"Zim never returned our call," Purple mused.  
"So?" Red arched an invisible eyebrow. "Maybe Fab killed him,"  
"With our luck?" Purple snorted. "She's probably best friends with him. We should probably send someone to go get her before any more damage is done,"  
"But who'd have the guts to go after Fab?" Red blinked. "Especially at the risk of having said guts violently removed by her?"  
"Sending a section of the armada is out," Purple grunted. "She'd only destroy it like she did the squad that originally went with her to retrieve THAT SONG,"  
"We could blow up the planet she's on," Red suggested.  
"Oooh, why don't we use some lasers too!" Purple spat, sarcastically.  
"YEAH!" Red grinned. Purple scowled, then massaged his forehead.  
"That wouldn't work either," he amended.  
"It wouldn't?" Red stared. "I thought blowing someone up generally prevented them from coming back,"  
"... FAB, though feared, is highly respected among the thousands of planets she conquered under the previous Tallest. To make matters worse, most of the Invaders idolize her... even if she's totally cracked," Purple snarled, testily. "If word got out that we assassinated her without trying to actually cure her of her 'happy pink bunny'-ness... there's a good chance of a universal revolt,"  
"... Oh," Red grunted. "... Damn, I wanted to blow her and Zim up,"  
"I know," Purple sighed. "I did too,"  
"I'll go!"  
Red and Purple looked up, sharply. A tall, but not as tall as them, Irken looked at them with imploring sky blue eyes. He wore a red uniform, equipped with silver shoulder guards, with matching boots and gloves. He bowed, respectfully, then continued to gaze at them with quivering eyes.  
"PLEASE let me go retrieve Fab!" he begged. "I must save her from that insufferable failure that is Zim!"  
"Save HER?" Purple stared.  
"YES!" the Invader repeated, desperately. "WHO KNOWS what that wretch is doing to her!"  
"... I think you have this wrong but I don't care," Red muttered. "Allright, Rio, go and 'save Fab',"  
"YES! I WILL NOT FAIL YOU!" Rio cried. "I will save Fab... FOR THE GREAT IRKEN JUSTICE!"  
The two Tallest stared as Rio turned on his heel and ran out of the room. The two then glanced at each other.  
"... Great Irken Justice?" Red repeated.  
"Don't ask me," Purple grunted. "I think he was dropped on his head at an early age... but atleast he's devoted and dependable,"  
Rio dashed towards the docking bay, where his Vootrunner waited patiently. Various Irken staff looked up and stared at Rio as he darted by, then sighed and returned to their work with a muttered comment. Rio ignored them, his footsteps ringing loudly against the tiles, as he clutched a small gold band in his gloved claws.  
"Don't worry, Fab! I'll save you!" he cried, happily. 


	9. Irkens Shouldn't Marry Scary Monkeys

Warning: Been a while, huh? Wheeeeee! But I've got a decision ahead of me. I'm unsure of whether I should put this fic on hold and write the Fab-history fic... or just finish this one and spoil some important plot points. Hmmm. I... do not... KNOW! 

Chapter Eight: Irkens Shouldn't Marry Scary Monkeys 

Dib growled, irritated, as he stormed down the road towards the freaky little green house that belonged to Zim. The sky slowly began to set in the distance, casting a dark shadow over the roads. Sirens echoed through out the city, hinting at the continued search for the Scary Monkey. 

"Why would Zim kidnap a monkey?" Dib grumbled. "Unless he used Fab for some diabolical scheme...," Dib came to a stop and blinked. "... Or Fab just got the urge," 

Dib shook his head, wearily, and continued along his way. He was totally unaware of the two shadows following on the rooftops above him, as quiet and eerie as the shadows themselves. The two shadows darted after him, peering down occasionally, until the first one glanced to its consort and nodded. The second stopped, then watched as the first leapt down from the rooftops to land right next to Dib. 

Dib blinked and glanced up, then let out a startled squeal before scrambling back. He stared, wided eyed, as the figure straightened up and revealed itself to be a tall woman wearing a flowing leather trenchcoat, so black it seemed to absorb all light like a blackhole, with matching pants and tight-cut tank top. She had stylish black shades and sparkling silver hair. Dib hissed and continued to back away. 

"Who are you. What do you want," he snarled. The female smirked, slightly, and reached for her shades. 

"Let's just say...," she purred. "... my eyes are swollen," she finished, slipping the shades down her nose to wink at Dib. 

Dib blinked, then gave a startled gasp. 

"You... you must be from-!" he choked. The woman crossed her arms and looked at Dib, levely. Dib stared in disbelief, then blinked and arched an eyebrow. "... What's your name?" he asked, suspiciously. 

"Agent Draconian from the Committee of Suspected Paranormal," the woman replied, tartly. Dib's eyes widened drastically as his face grew pale. "I know of you, Agent Mothman," she added. 

"Then you found my briefcase?" Dib asked, eagerly. "You know about Zim?" 

"No," Agent Draconian replied, waving her hand dismissively. "We have not found your briefcase," She crossed her arms once more as Dib looked crestfallen. "Where are you going, Agent?" she asked, coyly. 

"To the alien's house!" Dib grinned. "He captured the Scary Monkey! You should come and see for yourself-!" 

"We would," Agent Draconian interrupted. "But we don't have that liberty anymore. It was removed after the... werewolf fiasco," 

"... I heard of that. What exactly happened?" Dib blinked. Agent Draconian's face soured, drastically. 

"... Let's just say that someone was an idiot and blew up a building," she growled. 

"HEY," a voice protested from the rooftops. Dib blinked and glanced up. Agent Draconian massaged her temple. 

"Anyway... after all was said and done...," she continued. "The organization lost a certain amount of amnesty, which includes visiting a suspect's home without a warrant," 

"How can you get one?" Dib stared. 

"Evidence," Agent Draconian replied. "Pure evidence and-," 

A sudden explosion shook the city as a giant pillar of fire spiraled upward, parting the clouds like a biblical reference. Dib and Agent Draconian slowly looked over their shoulders at the giant pillar, then at each other. A loud yowl issued as the other agent fell from the roof and landed, unceremoniously, in the dumpster behind them. 

"... Does that count as evidence?" 

-------------- 

Rio grunted as he pried himself out of the smouldering wreckage. He cracked his neck, then glanced around to survey the area. He had crashed landed in the park, only a few feet away from where Fab's own Vootrunner had crashed. Rio blinked and noticed the utterly incinerated playground equipment, then grinned with triumph. 

"Lucky!" Rio chuckled. "Imagine! Landing in the very place Fab did! It's destiny!" 

Rio looked over his damaged Vootrunner and put his hands on his hips. 

"Tsk, tsk. It would seem that the power of MY LOVE has overcome the capabilities of my Vootcrusher... such a sad, unloved little Irken Special Forces Vootrunner," 

Rio chuckled again as a bright lights flashed on his backpack. The wreckage shook, violently, then slowly twisted and turned like a rubics cube until it was small enough to fit in the palm of the hand. Rio stepped forward and picked up the cube. 

"I would expect any Vootcrusher type Vootrunner to be able to handle the speed of my love... I was only traveling two thousand units over the intergalactic speedlimit," Rio grunted. "And why bother with the time and effort of an actual landing!? Who knows what vile things that SHORT little Irken is doing to poor Fab!?" 

Rio put the cube in his uniform pocket and sighed. 

"I must report the obvious structural default when I return with Fab... we simply can't allow our Special Forces to fly around in Vootcrushers that crash when you go too fast!" he grunted. 

However, his serious expression lasted for only a second before he started giggling like a lunatic. He slipped off the gold band that he wore around his wrist and stared at it, his eyes sparkling brilliantly like twin pools of water. 

"Oh Fab... how I have missed you... how we all have missed you! The Special Forces Unit has never been the same since you... went bonkers! How could we perform our important missions and secret Tallest objectives without you!? Missions so important that no SHORT INVADER could ever be trusted!? It wasn't the same! It could never BE the same!" he whimpered. He held the band to his chest and sighed. "But soon... SOON! I'll save you from your insanity and you'll once again take your place among our ranks as leader!" 

Rio nuzzled the band, as if it were someone alive and tangible. 

"Maybe... just maybe we'll start anew! Now that the Tallest...," Rio paused. "But I shouldn't say such things... I must rescue you. I am wasting time!" 

With a delighted giggle, Rio charged off the playground and in to the distance. As he disappeared in to the night, a single pink bunny sat on the jungle gym. It wiggled its ears and blinked cutely, before it turned its head about and bit a bar in half. It chewed on the metal, daintly, and wiggled its whiskers. 

------------ 

Zim glared at the television, covered by puffy pink bunnies, as he watched the news. Bunnies sat on either side of him, on his lap, and even one on his head. It took every inch of self control for Zim to resist his urge to maim everything he could get his claws on. 

Fab and GIR danced about in the kitchen, playing with the Scary Monkey. The primate chattered wildly as it swung its arms and made faces. It wore a pretty blue sundress with bright yellow sunflower prints on it, though very tattered due to the fact that it was on a monkey. 

The insane Irken and equally insane SIR decided to name the monkey Auntie Scarescarymonkeyfaceoootoootwow, whom came to visit them from lands so far away they didn't exist. The two were highly pleased with their cleverness while Zim did his best to pretend that neither of them existed. 

"In other news... the playground was assaulted by a flaming ball of fire. Again. There is yet another crater, right next to the first one that crashed only days before. The police assure us that it was pure coincidence and not something to panic over. They insist that the hippies are not out to destroy us or steal our drugs and create a Flower Power empire," 

The reporter blinked at the papers in her hands, then stared at the camera. 

"... And that Count CocoaFang is, in fact, not going to be their emperor and rule us with a cocoa-y fist," she said, disbelieving. 

Zim blinked, then looked at Fab. 

"... Do you have any friends who know you're here?" he asked. 

"Auntie Scarescarymonkeyfaceoootoootwow does!" Fab grinned. 

"... Someone you didn't just make up," Zim grunted. Fab blinked, then pondered intently. After much deliberation, she turned to Zim and grinned. 

"I like cookies," 

Zim growled in irritation and hit his head against the couch. The bunny on his head blinked, then wiggled its ears and returned to sleep. 

"I suppose it is nothing," Zim muttered. "After all, the Tallest would not risk alerting our enemies to my secret mission...," 

"GUESS WHAT!" Fab shrieked, suddenly. Zim jumped, then stared at Fab. "We've decided!" 

"Decided?" Zim blinked. 

"You're marrying the Scary Monkey," Fab replied. 

"I... what?" Zim stared. He squeaked as Fab lifted up the Scary Monkey and shoved it in to Zim's face. 

"I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MONKEY AND ZIM! You may kiss the monkey!" Fab squealed. 

"I WILL NOT!" Zim roared. 

"But what about the children!?" GIR sobbed. 

"...," Zim stared at GIR, oddly. 

"Kiss the monkey!" Fab repeated. 

"I will not!" Zim snarled. Fab blinked, then pushed the monkey in to Zim's face even more. The monkey hooted. 

"Kiss the monkey," Fab repeated, once more. "Now," 

"I will not kiss that nasty beast!" Zim hissed. Fab's eyes flashed as she bared her teeth at Zim. 

"KISS... THE... MONKEY...," Fab growled. As her voice deepened, all of the pink bunnies snapped about to stare at Zim. Their eyes glittered red as they smirked, displaying their razor sharp fangs. Zim blinked and sweatdropped. 

"U-um...," Zim whimpered. 

"NOW," Fab seemed to grow more intimidating as the bunnies circled Zim like sharks. Zim scrambled back, shaking violently. 

"B... but...," Zim paused, then flailed his arms. "That monkey is an imposter! It's actually... um... your uncle!" 

"My uncle?" Fab stared. 

"YESSSSS," Zim nodded. Fab blinked and looked at the monkey. 

"I have an uncle?" she asked. 

"Yesss... Uncle... Um... Scootscootvootroootwahayahawoo," Zim fumbled. 

"OH! HIM!" Fab grinned. "Then I guess you can't marry him!" 

GIR sniffled. 

"I want to marry the monkey," 

"OKAY!" Fab squealed, before dragging GIR and the monkey to the kitchen. Zim breathed a sigh of relief as the bunnies returned to their adorable antics. A brief moment of peace reigned... 

For about ten seconds. 

A loud crash issued from the kitchen. Zim looked up, blankly, to see smoke drift through the doorway to the kitchen. He continued to stare as Fab peered out of the door, smiling brightly. 

"You didn't really need that trashcan elevator, did you?" she grinned. 

"... Why?" he asked, weakly. 

"Because it blew up," Fab replied. 

"... How...?" Zim felt ill. 

"... Dunno! But it probably has something to do with the missile GIR fired in to it," Fab blinked, innocently. 

Zim stared at Fab, then sighed and hung his head. 


	10. Rio To The Rescue! Sortof!

Warning: Just the usual insanity... but fiiirst... 

INVADER MUFFIN DREW FAB PICS! XD Isn't she pretty? XD THANK YOU FOR THE PICCIES! 

http://rosewily.tripod.com/fab1.bmp 

http://rosewily.tripod.com/fab2.bmp 

http://rosewily.tripod.com/fab3.bmp 

Tell me if you have trouble with the .bmps! 

. 

. 

Chapter Nine: Rio To The Rescue! Sortof! 

Rio peered about, glancing skyward as the skyscrapers towered high above him. He walked down the street, oblivious to the stares he was receiving. 

"Such tall buildings!" Rio observed. "I wonder if they're compensating for something?" 

"Um... dude?" 

Rio stopped and glanced over his shoulder, curiously, to see a human peering at him. The human glanced about, then moved closer to Rio and stared at him intently. 

"What is it, native?" Rio asked. 

"... Are you... an alien...?" the human's eyes widened. 

"YES! I am RIO of the Special Forces!" Rio posed dynamically and pointed at a distant star. "I STRIVE FOR PEACE, JUSTICE, AND NACHOS!" 

"...," the human's expression shifted from awe to pity as others around them shook their heads, sadly. 

"What is the matter, native?" Rio blinked, vaguely aware that his speech didn't have the effect he had hoped it would. 

"... It's allright, dude...," the human soothed. He slowly reached in to his pocket and pulled out a card. "Everything's okay... here," the human added, handing the card over to Rio. Rio accepted it, staring blankly at it. 

"What is this... P-Sy-chiatrist?" he inquired. 

"Someone who can help you with your...," the human paused, then smiled sweetly. "... problem," 

"My problem?" Rio repeated. "... He can help?" 

"Yeah... good luck, okay?" the human smiled, patronizingly, and then patted Rio on the shoulder. He turned and walked away, sighing and muttering about 'that poor guy'. Rio blinked again, then looked at the card. 

"... Hm... perhaps this P-Sy-chiatrist can, indeed, save Fab... I shall make a note to see him later!" Rio muttered. "But... anyway...," 

Rio snapped about, puffing out his chest. 

"ONWARD TO... FAB!" 

------------------------ 

"Auuugh...," 

"There's no use stressing over it," Agent Chupacabra pointed out, calmly, as he worked behind the counter at the video arcade. He fiddled around with the soda cans and blender, idly. "I mean, look at me. I took an unintentional swan dive in to the dumpster but you don't see me whimpering," 

"How can you be so calm!?" Agent Draconian whimpered, massaging her forehead as she leaned against the counter. "There was another crater at the playground! ANOTHER one! And we didn't even see who did it!" 

"So what?" Chupacabra snorted. "We'll find them sooner or later," 

"... You just don't get it, do you," Draconian growled. "You're USED to failure! I'm not!" 

"We haven't failed," her comrade retorted. He paused, then tilted his head. "And what do you mean by that?" 

Draconian arched an eyebrow, looking at him levelly. 

"The werewolves?" 

"Oh, come off it!" Chupacabra spat. "How many times are you going to rub that in my face!?" 

"Until you learn from it," Draconian replied, coldly. Chupacabra fixed her with a gaze, then snorted. 

"Don't be so uptight," he grunted. A grin creeped across his face as he suddenly displayed two cups filled with a rather disgusting looking glop. "Try some javacola. It does wonders!" 

"... I am NOT drinking that," Draconian sniffed. 

"Aw, what's wrong? SCARED?" Chupacabra purred. 

"No, I just don't want to kill myself," she replied. 

"Imagine you frightened of a DRINK," Chupacabra chuckled. 

"I'm not!" 

"Prove it," 

Draconian regarded him, icily, then grabbed the cup. She glared at the substance, then took a deep breath and downed the entire cup. She swallowed, her face twisting slightly at the taste. 

"See! That wasn't so bad, was it?" Chupacabra nodded, approvingly. 

Draconian opened her mouth to say something, then snapped it shut. She covered her mouth with her hands as her face turned a disgusting green. With a whimper, she scrambled from the seat and ran out of the room as fast as she could. 

Chupacabra blinked and tilted his head as the sound of retching came from the bathroom. He blinked, then snorted and adjusted his shades. 

"Huh... SOMEONE has a weak stomach," 

---------- 

The hideous, ear piercing sound of rusty metal shrieked through the air as Ms. Bitters slowly wheeled her wheelchair down the ramp to the hospital. Nurses and patients alike cringed and shied away from her. She paid them no mind, her shoulders hunched as she made her way towards the street. 

"Hospitals... nothing more than an attempt to extend our miserable lives... giving false hope... and try to deny that we are all doomed!" she hissed. She stopped and whirled to hiss at a nurse who walked too close. "DOOMED!" 

The nurse squealed and backed away, trembling. 

Ms. Bitters' lips curled up in to a sneer. 

"Doomed...," she repeated, then returned to wheeling towards the street. She made it as far as the sidewalk as she muttered to herself. "Doomed... doomed... doomed... doomed... doo-," 

"FAAAAAB!" 

"-med?" Ms. Bitters snapped up just in time for Rio to impact with her. Ms. Bitters flew upward, wheelchair and all, as Rio continued to race down the sidewalk as if nothing had happened. Totally oblivious to his impact with the teacher, he rounded the corner and disappeared. 

Ms. Bitters crashed against the sidewalk, twitching and looking rather irritated as the wheelchair landed in a mangled heap beside her. 

"... Doomed...," 

---------- 

Dib glanced about, warily, as he made his way towards the windowsill. The lawn gnomes were still, leaving him well enough alone as the human drew ever closer to the house. 

"Proof, eh?" Dib muttered. "Why is it that everything I try to do requires proof?" 

Dib slowly stood up to peer through the window. 

"All I need is ONE PICTURE... and yet... I can't seem to-," 

"HI!" 

Dib squealed and fell backwards, momentarily stunned, as Fab leaned out the window to peer down at him. 

"Now that I have greeted you...," Fab paused, then narrowed her eyes as a vicious glint shimmered. "I MUST GIVE YOU A HUG!" 

Dib shrieked as Fab leapt out of the window at him, wrapping her arms firmly around his waist and squeezing. The human thrashed for a few minutes, unable to dislodge Fab but generating quite a lot of attention as humans stopped to eye them oddly. 

After a few moments of hugging, Fab stopped and peered at him with a serious expression. 

"You're late," she said. 

"Late...?" Dib paused to stare at her. 

"For your wedding," Fab replied. 

"... WHAT?!" Dib choked. 

"C'mon!" Fab giggled, hefting Dib up and draping him over her shoulder. Dib flailed in protest as Fab leapt through the window once moore to land in the kitchen. "Your bride's waiting!" 

"I'M NOT MARRYING ANYONE!" Dib roared. 

"No," Fab agreed. "You're not marrying ANYONE. You're marrying a monkey," 

Dib stopped and glanced over his shoulder, eyes wide. 

"... huh?" 

The Scary Monkey hooted and hollered, banging his fists against the table. GIR giggled happily, covered in ribbons, as he made 'wedding invitations' with crayons and glitter. Fab grinned and glanced back at Dib, who looked utterly bewildered. 

"... I'm not marrying a monkey," Dib muttered. 

"Yes you are," Fab beamed. 

"No... I'm not," Dib replied, more firmly. 

"Yes you aaaare!" Fab sang. 

"No. I'm not," Dib grunted. 

"Either you marry the monkey or I bite off your face," Fab giggled as she set Dib down in a chair by the table. Dib blinked repeatedly as his glassess fogged up. Fab turned to grin at him, revealing her razor sharp teeth. "It'd hurt," 

"... ...," 

"A lot," Fab added. 

"...," 

Dib sighed. 

"Fine... I'll marry the monkey," he grumbled. 

"YAY!" Fab giggled, clapping her hands. "It's going to be a lovely wedding!" 

"...," Dib glanced out the kitchen door in an attempt to find Zim. However, all he could see were thousands and thousands of pink bunnies. Somewhere, under the sea of pink fuzziness, was Zim. Dib almost pitied him. 

"NOW THEN, TIME FOR-!" Fab began. Suddenly, she paused and blinked. She turned on her heels and leapt out of the window with a mighty bound. Dib blinked, incredilously, and glanced at GIR. GIR drew a bright red heart on a card, then proceeded to eat said card. He giggled. 

"...," Dib sweatdropped. 

Suddenly, a loud squeal could be heard from outside. Dib jumped to his feet and ran to the window, peering outside to see who was the newest victim to Fab's hug attack. A loud curse marked Zim's own attempts to get to a window, though the bunnies no doubt hindered his attempts greatly. 

Fab beamed happily as she nuzzled the newest victim, then looked up with her bright gold eyes. Staring back, bewildered and blushing violently, was Rio. He sat on the sidewalk, utterly surprised as the smaller Irken clung to his body. His eyes widened as his antennae pricked with confusion. 

"... Fab?!" 


	11. You're Better Off Leaving Home Without I...

Warnings: Yaoi and adult language! 

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I'm not making money off of this. I don't own the Tallest, though Fab, Orange, and Fuchsia were created by me. 

. 

. 

Chapter Ten: You're Better Off Leaving Home Without It 

Dib stared in silence as Rio blinked at Fab. Fab giggled, happily, and nuzzled the taller Irken's chest. Zim blinked through his windows, covered in pink bunnies, as GIR squealed happily inside the kitchen. 

"Fab...?" Rio repeated, staring. "Is that you?" 

"RIO! I remember RIO!" Fab cackled, happily. She hugged the Irken tightly, smiling. "Rio Rio Rio!" 

Rio blinked, then beamed and proceeded to hug Fab back as a big, stupid grin crossed his face. Dib grunted and shook his head. 

"Wonderful... there's another alien and I don't have a camera," he sighed. 

"You came to my house without a camera?" Zim quirked an invisible eyebrow, questioning, as a pink bunny slumbered on his head. 

"... ...," Dib's eyes widened as he realized that he, in fact, had. 

"... Some investigator," Zim sneered. Dib bristled. 

"This from an alien with a bunny on his head!" the human retorted, pointing at the pink bunny. Zim twitched, then scowled darkly as the bunny yawned. "What's with the other alien, ZIM?" 

"...," Zim turned to look at Rio. "Why ARE you here? This is a secret mission!" 

Rio sighed happily, then stood up and grinned at Fab. 

"I came to rescue you, Fab!" he said, completely ignoring Zim. "I'll take you back home and everything will be allright!" 

"Home?" Fab blinked. 

"Rescue?" Dib arched an eyebrow. 

"... Don't ignore me!" Zim growled. "I AM ZIM-!" 

"Yes, home!" Rio continued. "That hideous Zim won't keep you here any longer!" 

"... Now wait a minute...," Zim blinked. 

"... ZIM!" Fab gasped, as if she suddenly remembered something. "... I MUST HUG ZIM!" 

"Huh?" Rio stared. 

"... WHAT?!" Zim shrieked. He whirled to run but was immediately glomped from behind by Fab, who cuddled him. 

"I hug you, you hug me!" Fab sang, happily. "Let's pretend to have SA-NI-TY!" 

"With a GREAT BIG HUG!" GIR joined in, lunging out a window to grab Zim as well. "And a pink bunny or two! Oh, you'll scream when we're done with you!" 

"YAY!" 

Rio stared as Zim shrieked and squirmed. 

"LET GO! LET GO!" Zim ordered as he kicked at Fab and GIR. "UNLEASH ME, YOU FOUL CREATURES OF IDIOCY!" 

Dib itched his chin, idly. 

"... You know, I could almost pity Zim right about now," Dib observed. He blinked and glanced up to stare at Rio, who twitched violently. Suddenly, the taller Irken posed and pointed, dynamically, at Zim. 

"HOW DARE YOU!" Rio roared. "HOW DARE YOU MANIPULATE FAB AND KEEP HER HERE AS YOUR SLAVE!" 

"... Huh?" Zim stared at Rio. "... Have you the brain worms!? I have done no such thing!" 

"I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS TO CONTINUE!" Rio roared, visibly quaking with rage as his antennae pricked up. "I WILL DEFEAT YOU AND YOUR EEEEEVIIIIIILLLLLLLL!" 

Zim simply stared in stupified silence. 

"... Okay, I've come to the conclusion that all Zimmy-race-things are insane," Dib observed. "VERY insane," 

Rio reached behind his back and, with a snap, pulled out two wicked looking blades. Fab blinked, then stared at them. 

"... Genocide Cutters...," she muttered, oddly quiet. 

"Yes... Genocide Cutters...," Rio muttered. "These grand weapons were all that we could find at the massacre sight... the only momento I had of you... and now... I will use them to free you from the clutches of this maniac!" 

"Says one maniac to another," Dib grunted. 

"Now wait a minute!" Zim snarled, hotly. "I did no such thing!" 

"The time for talk has passed!" Rio hissed as he crouched, eyes glaring. Zim stared as Fab and GIR clung to his neck, looking at Rio with clueless expressions. "I will end this now and save Fab from you... prepare yourself... for THE END!" 

"How can you prepare for that?" Zim squeaked. 

"The American Exlax card!" GIR cried, happily. "You're better off leaving home without it!" 

"SILENCE...," Rio crouched, then sprang at Zim with cat-like movements. "... AND DIE!" 

-------------------------- 

"SHE'S ALIVE?!" 

Red winced and massaged his temples as Purple glanced between Red and the other Irken, concerned. A tall, old Irken stood before them, quivering with emotions as his orange eyes narrowed angrily. 

"She's alive and you never TOLD me!?" he hissed. 

"Retired Tallest Orange...," Purple muttered. 

"Uncle," Red grunted, quietly. "You're going to give yourself another attack," 

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?" Orange demanded, before he broke off coughing raggedly. As he doubled over, Red yelped and dashed over to his uncle's side. He helped his Uncle stand up while he coughed violently. When the coughing subsided, Red scowled and shook his head. 

"THIS is why!" Red hissed. "If I had told you, it might have killed you!" 

"... A lot of things 'might' have," Orange glowered. "But this...," 

"... You might have wanted to go to her," Purple said, softly. 

"You're damn right I'm going to go to her!" Orange thundered. 

"I won't allow it," Red hissed, dangerously. Orange paused to stare at Red, flabbergasted. "You're getting worse every day... I don't even know if I'll see you alive tomorrow! I won't allow you to go on a dangerous journey to go find a maniac when it's very possible you'll die during the process! I won't allow it!" 

"I agree with Red," Purple nodded, sharply. "You don't even know if she remembers you. She could attack you on sight!" 

"No... never...," Orange whispered, breathlessly. 

"I won't risk it," Red replied, firmly. "You'll have to wait until Rio comes back with her... if he can!" 

Orange stared at Red, his expression a mixture of outrage and betrayal. Red narrowed his eyes and shook his head. 

"I'm not letting you go, uncle," Red repeated. 

"How can you stop me?" Orange hissed. 

"Purple and I are the Tallest now," Red glowered. "You're retired. We have a lot more say than you do," 

Purple nodded, then wilted as Orange fixed him with a poisonous gaze. 

"Even you...," he growled. "Even you would deny me this...?" 

"... Uncle... I won't let you kill yourself for a memory," Red grunted, turning his back to glare at the screen. "End of discussion!" 

Purple blinked at Red, then glanced apologetically at Orange. Orange simply quivered with rage, then whirled and stormed out of the room. Red barely flinched as the door slid shut with a snap. Purple turned to look at Red, who refused to look at him. 

"... ... Red?" Purple ventured. 

"No," Red growled. "I won't let him. I won't," 

"... ...," 

----------------------- 

Agent Draconian sighed, wearily, as she soaked her feet in a big tub of hot water. She reclined in her chair, slouching with exhaustion. 

"What an exhausting day...," she muttered. "Paperwork... investigate this... paperwork... investigate that... paperwork... paperwork for clearance of the paperwork... sign more paperwork so I can get the paperwork for the clearance of the paperwork...," 

Agent Draconian leaned back and closed her eyes. 

"... If I ever find the person who invented paperwork, I'll kill them," she observed, weakly. She opened her eyes, slightly, and looked up as the door slammed, marking Agent Chupacabra's arrival. Agent Chupacabra casually walked in and cracked his neck before heading for the snackbar. Agent Draconian paused, then sighed again and closed her eyes. 

"How was your day?" she inquired. 

Agent Chupacabra grunted. 

"That bad?" she sighed. 

Agent Chupacabra grunted again. 

"... Oh well...," Agent Draconian shrugged. "I guess all days can't be perfect... but atleast it wasn't a total loss... Atleast the Sasquatch case was a huge success!" 

Agent Chupacabra froze as his expression turned panicked. He tried to hide his sudden expression but Agent Draconian noticed it almost instantly. She paused and turned to look at him, her expression bland. 

"NOTHING went wrong with the Sasquatch case, RIGHT?" she said, calmly. "Everything was dealt with... all that was left was to turn in the paperwork... which you did, RIGHT?" 

"... Um... well... yes and no," Agent Chupacabra began. 

"... Yes and no?" Agent Draconian's eyebrow arched. 

"Well, you see... I turned in the paperwork, definitely!" Agent Chupacabra laughed, nervously. "And... you're not going to believe this, but...," 

"You DIDN'T...," Agent Draconian stared. 

"... Well, let's just say...," Agent Chupacabra fidgeted. "... That due to a filing error... the Sasquatch is currently inside a warehouse, on lent for the Thanksgiving Parade as a float," 

"... ...," 

"But we can get it back after the parade!" Agent Chupacabra gushed, quickly. Agent Draconian simply stared at him, then turned slowly to face the table in front of her. She blinked twice, and then proceeded to hit her head against the hard surface repeatedly. 

Agent Chupacabra winced with each loud thwack. 

"... ... But atleast they don't realize it's alive!" Agent Chupacabra offered. 

Another thwack issued as Agent Draconian continued to hit her head against the surface. 

"What's that noise!?" 

Agent Chupacabra glanced up as a tall, muscular man walked in to the room through the back door. He was tanned red, like sunburn, with a mess of spiked blue hair on his head that matched his deep blue eyes. He wore tight black bicycle shorts and a matching black tank top, complete with black sneakers. He glowered, bags under his eyes, and glanced at Agent Draconian, who continued to bang her head against the table. 

"Morning, dad," Agent Chupacabra replied. 

"What's her problem?" the man inquired. 

"Eh," Agent Chupacabra shrugged, then returned to the snackbar. The man blinked, then glanced at Agent Draconian once more before he turned to join his son at the snackbar. 

"... Give me something strong," the man said as he sat down, scowling. 

"Bad day?" Agent Chupacabra inquired as he set a jug of his javacola in front of his father. 

"I hate children," the man growled. "Imagine... me reduced to teaching other people's brats! What ever happened to the good old days?!" 

Agent Chupacabra didn't respond as he poured himself some javacola, obviously used to such rants. 

"I wish we could go back... go back to then!" the man continued, unaware that no one was listening. "It was a huge mistake to ever accept Dance Dance Revolution and ParaParaParadise in to our lives!" 

"I like Dance Dance Revolution and ParaParaParadise," Agent Chupacabra said. He blinked and glanced at his father, who glared venomously at him. Instantly sensing that he had said the wrong thing, Agent Chupacabra coughed and returned to his drink. 

"Those machines...," the man growled. "They made us weak... undiciplined...," The man paused and glanced at Agent Draconian, who gurgled as she slumped against the table with a concussion. "... and make us beat our heads against tables!" 

"No, I think that's just her," Agent Chupacabra shrugged. 

"We've got to do something!" the man hissed. "Something to rekindle what we lost...," 

"But what?" Agent Chupacabra blinked. 

"... What ever happened with those Irkens?" the man purred, suddenly very mischevious. 

"Um... nothing," Agent Chupacabra muttered. He glanced at the unconscious Agent Draconian. "She said we shouldn't get involved yet...," 

"Feh!" the man snorted. "Forget about that. Let's go deal with them! Just like the old days! We'll even bring her along! She could use the exercise!" 

"Won't she get mad?" Agent Chupacabra stared. 

"... She's unconscious! She can't complain if she doesn't know what's happening!" 

"You are SO cool, dad," 

------------------- 

A soft, cheerful hum issued as a tall Irken ran a cleansing cloth across the windshield of a Vootrunner. He hummed, his soft pinkish red eyes glowing as he worked. He wore white medical robes with pinkish red trim, a black headband around his forehead with a saucer-like device that was customary for doctors. 

The Irken hummed quietly as he worked, alone and in darkness. 

Atleast, he had thought he was alone. 

Suddenly, a cane whipped out of the darkness and pressed against his neck in a choke hold fashion. The Irken squeaked, then sighed miserably. 

"Hello, my retired Tallest Orange," 

"Hello, Fuchsia," Orange's eyes twinkled in the darkness as he used his cane to hold the other Irken tightly. "Working late?" 

"Yes," Fuchsia replied, wearily. "... So what brings you here, dare I ask?" 

"I suppose you've heard about Fab," Orange tilted his head. 

"Yes, I have," Fuchsia responded. "I also heard you are banned from every Vootrunner," 

"Then you know why I'm here," Orange responded. 

"Let me guess," Fuchsia grumbled, miserably. "You want to use a medical unit Vootrunner, which are the only Vootrunners not heavily guarded, to go find Fab," 

"Indeed," Orange beamed. 

"And...," Fuchsia slumped. "... I'm your hostage?" 

"You catch on real quick!" Orange grinned. "Now get in and drive," 

"... I hate you," 


	12. It's Been A While

Warnings: Yaoi and adult language! 

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I'm not making money off of this. I don't own the Tallest, though Fab, Orange, and Fuchsia were created by me. 

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Chapter Eleven: It's Been A While 

"Ugh... this is going to take forever," Orange muttered, tapping his cane against the floor. He and Fuchsia were squeezed in the front seat of the medical lab vootrunner, with Fuchsia driving as Orange tapped his cane to display his irritation. 

"Just be patient, my retired Tallest," Fuchsia soothed, calmly. "We've got a long way to go and getting restless now won't help!" 

"At the rate we're going, it'll be an entire planetary rotation before we arrive!" Orange growled, tapping his cane even louder. Fuchsia winced, then sighed. 

"I know, but we're allready doing five over the universal speed limit!" Fuchsia. "You just have to be patient!" 

Orange paused, then turned to look at Fuchsia. 

"... You mean this thing can go faster?" Orange inquired, his voice oddly calm. 

"Of course!" Fuchsia blinked. "You really didn't think the medical lab would be issued substandard equipment? We can reach up to 1 to 2 Light Years Per Hour in an emergency!" 

"... Then why aren't we going that fast!?" Orange thundered. 

"This isn't an emergency," Fuchsia replied, sternly. "It'd be breaking the law! I might even get a FINE!" 

Fuchsia squeaked when he felt Orange press the cane against his throat in a strangle hold. His eyes widened as Orange growled deeply, behind him. 

"I'll give YOU an emergency if you don't make this thing go faster," he hissed. "NOW." 

"Um... but it's illegal...," Fuchsia began, but broke off with a yelp when Orange tightened the cane against his throat. 

"NOW." 

"... U-um...," 

"Red may not have told you this, but I taught him almost everything he knows... but just between you and me, I never told him how many uses one can have for a cane," Orange grinned, wolfishly. "I'm going to count to FIVE, and if you don't floor that pedal by then, I'm going to educate YOU. Understood?" 

"... Y-yessir...!" 

"GOOD. And if we're not at that planet Fab's on in exactly one hour...," Orange leaned close, his eyes glittering, "I'm going to show make you squeal like a slaughtering Rat Person during mating season." 

"... YESSIR!!!" 

--------------------------------- 

"ZIM! YOU CANNOT RUN FOREVERRRR!" 

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Zim squealed as he ran down the street, his diguise barely on as Fab clung to his neck with a giggle. Zim darted along the sidewalk, dodging cars and people as he tried to escape the rampaging Irken close behind him. 

"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU HEATHEN...," Rio snarled as he darted after Zim, springing off the sides of buildings with amazing agility. "... I WILL KILL YOU! A LOT!" 

"... How can you kill someone a lot?" Zim wondered. 

"Sharp pointy doom!" Fab snickered. 

As the Irkens ran down the street, Dib brought up the rear with GIR. GIR giggled cutely as he ran circles around Dib. 

"SHARP POINTY DOOM! SHARP POINTY DOOM!" GIR repeated, cackling. 

"Yeah, well...," Dib scowled as he huffed and puffed. "Leave something left for my evidence...," 

Rio lunged and brought the genocide cutters down in a slicing motion. Zim yowled and leapt out of the way, barely dodging the blow as it soared past and diced a car neatly in half. The driver paused and glanced over his shoulder as the front half continued along the road while the back came to a complete stop. 

"... Let me guess," Dib growled. "No one noticed that an ALIEN did that, right?" 

"Mommy, mommy!" a child gasped. "Did you see that funny man in the costume?! He looked like an ALIEN!" 

"It's not polite to point at insane lunatics, dear," the mother scolded as she walked, ignoring the Irkens just like all the other humans. Dib paused, then scowled deeply. 

"... Of course," 

"OUT OF THE WAY! NORMAL HUMAN WORMBABY COMING THROUGH!" Zim shrieked as he darted down the street, dodging humans in an attempt to ditch the furious Rio. 

"WEEEE!" Fab giggled, happily. 

"You're not helping!" Zim barked, then yowled as Rio narrowly missed impaling him. 

"Don't talk to her in that tone of voice!" Rio snarled as he yanked the Genocide Cutters free from the cracked sidewalk. "I'll make you suffer for this outrage!" 

"Didn't you allready intend to make him suffer?" Dib asked as he darted past after Zim. Rio paused and tapped his chin. 

"Hm... you're right!" Rio mused. "So I can't really say that since I intended to do so, anyway... what should I do?" 

Rio leaned back and closed his eyes, pondering. After a moment, his eyes opened wide and he posed, dynamically. 

"I'VE GOT IT! I'll just make him suffer MORE!" he declared, as if such a decision were a work of genius. "That'll work, right?" 

However, no one replied. 

Rio blinked and glanced about to find himself alone in the middle of the sidewalk, save for some bewildered humans, with Zim nowhere to be seen. Rio blinked again, then itched his head. 

"... Ooops." 

Meanwhile, Zim continued his mad attempt at escape as Dib followed close behind him. GIR and Fab cling to him, blinking curiously and waving at people as Zim ran by. 

Zim glanced back and forth, then darted down an alley in an attempt to cover his tracks. He yelped as the alley ended abruptly, then whirled and leapt through the window nearby. The window shattered, spraying glass everywhere, as Zim went tumbling. 

"WEEEEE!" Fab and GIR shrieked in union, cackling. 

As Zim finally came to a stop in the middle of the floor, a tangled heap, Dib peered in through the broken window. 

"That's breaking and entering, Zim." Dib pointed out. 

"SILENCE, stinkbeast!" Zim hissed. "Or RIO will hear you!" 

"I don't care if that lunatic finds you and maims you, Zim," Dib chuckled as he carefully climbed in through the window. "... but you lost him, anyway, so it doesn't matter." 

"He will find me... it's only a matter of time... but ZIM shall be ready for him!" Zim growled, deeply. Fab and GIR blinked at him, then cackled in union and tugged on his cheeks. 

"SMOOSHY FACE!" Fab crowed. 

"HAPPY FACE!" GIR agreed. Zim blinked, then scowled as they tugged on his cheeks. 

"... stop that." he grunted. 

"Hey," Dib blinked as he glanced around. "Isn't this the arcade?" 

Indeed, Zim and the others were, in fact, back in the very same arcade that the Dance Dance Revolution competition had been in only a day before. The arcade was cleaned up with the destroyed machines gone and replaced with brand new ones, though two half drunk glasses of Javacola rested on the counter. 

In fact, it was the very place that Agent Chupacabra and his father had left only five minutes earlier. 

"Huh?" Zim looked up, then squeaked when Fab shoved him away and lunged at the flashing Dance Dance Revolution machine nearby. 

"I AM THE GOD OF DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!" she proclaimed, happily, as GIR drank the two glasses of Javacola. Zim blinked, then rubbed his sore cheeks. 

"We shall hide here, then. It will keep her busy... and I shall ponder what to do!" he grunted. 

"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Dib asked, coyly. 

"You are no threat, stinkbeast," Zim scoffed. 

"Oh really?" Dib growled. 

"Do you want me to tell Fab you need a H-U-G?" Zim asked, 'innocently'. 

"... No...," Dib paled drastically. 

"Then shut up." 

----------------------------- 

"You have GOT to be kidding me," 

Agent Chupacabra winced slightly, then laughed in an almost nervous fashion as he glanced back at Agent Draconian. Agent Draconian glowered at him, a giant bruise on her forehead as she sat on the bench by the playground. Agent Chupacabra and his father had dragged her back to the scene of the crash, where two deep intents pierced the ground where the two Irken Vootrunners had crashed. 

Truth be told, there were no Irkens there. 

"It was a good idea at the time!" Agent Chupacabra offered. 

"It's STILL a good idea," his father added. "There's nothing quite like the thrill of the hunt!" 

Agent Draconian looked at the father, her expression exasperated. 

"This is one of your mid-life crisis things again, isn't it?" 

"..." 

"But isn't he past the middle of his life?" Agent Chupacabra asked, curiously. "WAY past?" 

"I'd think so." Agent Draconian replied. Agent Chupacabra's father turned to scowl at them, his eyes glittering dangerously. 

"... Just shut up and look, you lazy brats!" he barked. "I've seen skool children more dedicated than you!" 

"That's because they're all terrified you'll give them detentions." Agent Draconian observed, though she slowly stood up to look around. 

"What are we looking for?" Agent Chupacabra asked. 

"We're looking for clues... anything suspicious that practically screams 'Irken'!" his father replied, gleefully. 

Agent Draconian glanced at her partner's father and opened her mouth to comment when a loud whistling sound pierced the air, followed by an abnormally strong light. She blinked, then glanced up just in time to become the landing pat for a sizzling Vootrunner. The ship hit her, sending her flying in to the bushes with a squeak, as it bounced against the ground and created a third trench right next to the others. Smoke billowed up, thick and choking, as the door slammed open and a disheveled Fuchsia fell forward with a squeal. 

Dazed and disoriented, Fuchsia fumbled up and pointed skyward. 

"34 MINUTES AND 30 SECONDS!" he shrieked, shakily. "I MADE IT IN 34 MINUTES AND 30 SECOOOONDS!" 

Then, he promptly collapsed to throw up all over the grass. 

"You need to get out more, kid." 

Agent Chupacabra's father tensed visibly, then growled deep in his throat. Agent Chupacabra blinked, then glanced over to the bushes to see Agent Draconian moan weakly and fumble forward. 

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, quietly. 

"Eeeehhhhhghhh...," Agent Draconian replied, then proceeded to mimic Fuchsia and throw up all over the ground. Agent Chupacabra wrinkled his nose and flinched, then turned to see that his father was gone. 

Orange inched out of the Vootrunner, careful to avoid Fuchsia and the mess he was making, and looked around. 

"Finally...," he sighed. "Finally, I'm here... I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for this moment!" 

"You'll be waiting just a little bit more..." 

Orange's eyes widened as he felt his arms yanked backwards, behind him. He yelped as his cane fell to the ground, uselessly, struggling. Agent Chupacabra's father tightened his grip on the old Irken, his eyes glowing maliciously as he twisted Orange's arms in an painful grip. 

"My r-retired Tallest!" Fuchsia squeaked, weakly. 

"UNHAND ME!" Orange roared. 

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Agent Chupacabra's father hissed, almost purring. Orange's eyes widened even more, then narrowed to dangerous slits. 

"... YOU...," Orange snarled, quivering. 

"Hmmm... I see that you remember me...," 

"How could I forget...?" Orange growled, dangerously. 

"Heh heh heh." 

"It's been a while... Switchblade." 


	13. Fabulously The End

Warnings: Yaoi and adult language! 

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I'm not making money off of this. I don't own the Tallest, though Fab, Orange, and Fuchsia were created by me. 

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Chapter Twelve: Fabulously The End 

"How long now?" Dib sat in the corner of the arcade, watching Zim with a mildly curious expression. "Is it going to be a duel to the death? Can I experiment on your corpse when he kills you?" 

"Not long now, definitely not, and NICE TRY STINKBEAST!" Zim replied as he looked out the windows for the fourth time in three minutes. "I shall simply put that Rio in a situation where he must listen to reason." 

"He looks like reason is beyond him." Dib pointed out. 

"Don't make me tell Fab you need a H-U-G." 

"Right." 

"Weee!" Fab giggled as she danced on the Dance Dance Revolution game, ignoring the serious mood all together. GIR bounced around happily, often mimicking Fab and banging his head against the floor. 

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" GIR squealed. 

"Silence GIR! Surprise is essential!" Zim snapped. 

"Maybe if you put on your disguise...," Dib offered, sarcastically. 

"BRILLIANT!" Zim cried, then proceeded to do just so. Dib blinked at him, then crossed his arms. 

"You're kidding, there is NO WAY he's going to fall for-," 

"Excuse me, humans! Have you seen a small Invader?" Rio peered in, blinking. "I'm trying to kill him." 

"No, we have not!" Zim replied, smiling sweetly as he hid his claws behind his back. "No aliens here!" 

"..." Dib slapped his forehead. 

"Well, then, I wonder where he went?" Rio blinked, then made to leave. However, he stopped short when Fab suddenly whirled about and waved her arms hysterically. 

"HI RIO WE'RE RIGHT HERE AND I'M PLAYING A GAME DID YOU KNOW THAT I LIKE CUPCAKES AND HUGS SURE YOU DID BAI!" 

Zim slapped his forehead as Rio peered back inside, then cried out in recongition. 

"FAB!" Rio gasped. "What are you doing here with these humans!? Where's Zim?!" 

"... ZIM'S RIGHT THERE!" Dib hissed, pointing at the 'disguised' alien. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?" 

"Don't be silly," Rio snorted. "He doesn't look anything like Zim." 

"He's right." Zim beamed. 

Dib's cheek twitched. 

"He's IN DISGUISE." Dib breathed through clenched teeth. 

"I should think a member of the Special Forces could see through a disguise!" Rio scoffed. "It'd have to be a wonderful disguise to deceive ME!" 

"Yes, wonderful. Very wonderful!" Zim agreed. 

Dib blinked slowly, then slapped his forehead. 

"RIO! LOOK AT ME! RIO! LOOK! LOOK!" Fab waved her arms, trying to get Rio's attention. 

"I assure you, if he were Zim... I'd know." Rio smirked. 

"RIOOOOO!" 

"And besides, he doesn't even have antennae!" Rio continued. 

"RIOOOO!" Fab proceeded to bang her head against Rio's leg. Rio blinked then glanced down. 

"... Fab?" Rio blinked. 

"... I have feet!" Fab cried. 

"Good! We all need feet!" Rio beamed. 

"Um... what are you doing in my Arcade?" 

Rio, Dib, and Zim whirled to stare as Agent Draconian glowered at them, an icepack over half of her face as she looked rattled, singed, and disheveled. 

"It's closed, you know." she grunted. 

"Agent Draconian!" Dib stared in surprise. Agent Draconian looked at Dib, then let out a sigh. 

"... You?" she muttered. 

"Have you seen Zim, weird human?" Rio pointed at Agent Draconian. 

"ZIM IS NOT HERE!" Zim cried. 

"You're both insane!" Dib snarled. 

"..." Agent Draconian looked at Rio and Zim, levelly. "... I don't feel good enough for this." 

"For what?" Rio blinked. Zim tried to look innocent. 

"LET GO OF ME!" 

Fab's eyes snapped open wide and her head snapped about to stare. At that moment, Switchblade slipped in to the room as he dragged a kicking and snarling Orange. Behind him, Agent Chupacabra hefted a shivering and terrified Fuchsia. 

"LET GO OF ME OR I'LL SHOVE MY CANE UP YOUR ANAL TUBE!" Orange roared. 

"How original!" Switchblade snorted. 

"Oh geez... oh geez..." Fuchsia whimpered. 

"I SAID NOW!" Orange roared as he tried to hit Switchblade with his elbow. 

"No," Switchblade tightened his grip, then glanced up and paused. 

Everyone locked eyes, staring at each other with a mixture of confusion and shock. Only Agent Draconian seemed to have no emotion whatsoever as she walked over to the bar and sat down with a sigh. 

"My insurance is going to be hell...," she moaned. 

That's when chaos broke loose. 

With a feral roar, Fab lunged at Switchblade and bit his arm. Switchlade cried out and dropped Orange, who kicked him in the groin and scrambled away. Rio darted forward and tackled Agent Chupacabra, causing the two of them to crash down on top of Fuchsia, who yowled and tried to get away. 

Switchblade hunched over, then snarled weakly and flung Fab away like a ragdoll. Fab flew through the air, but somehow managed to pull off a flip and landed on her feet with the grace of a cat. Rio darted towards Orange and the others, dragging a bruised Fuchsia, as Agent Chupacabra limped towards Switchblade. 

"That was unexpected..." Agent Chupacabra grunted. 

"This is wonderful!" Switchblade snarled as he examined his bleeding arm. "I can't believe you're still alive, FAB! Now I get to kill you myself!" 

"Fab!" Orange choked, turning to stare at the diminutive Irken with shock and other mixed emotions. "How... Are you really Fab?!" 

Fab crouched, almost as if she didn't hear him as her eyes blazing brilliantly. She curled up her lips in a growl, antennae sparking. 

"What's going on!?" Zim snarled. "ZIM demands to know!" 

"ZIM!?" Rio whirled to stare at Zim. 

"... Duh," Dib crossed his arms as GIR twirled in circles. 

"WEE!" 

"So it finally comes to this... we're all together again!" Switchblade snickered. "But you look so TINY, Fab!" 

"... Let me guess. You're an alien." Dib narrowed his eyes, the ever astute one. 

"YES! Allow me to introduce ourselves!" Switchblade cackled, then started to glow. Agent Chupacabra and Agent Draconian did the same, though Draconian tried to ignore the others. Prismatic music flared up, blinding everyone, as Dance Dance Revolution music began to play from out of nowhere. After a few minutes, the light and music ceased to reveal three very different figures that where most definitely not human. 

Switchblade stood tall and proud, his blue skin and red stripes dulled with age as he appeared as a four legged, four armde serpentine like creature with a pointed face. Beside him, 'Agent Chupacabra' was a four legged creature like his father but he only had two arms instead of four, his face was less pointed, his tail was longer, and he was bright gold with brilliant green eyes. 'Agent Draconian' sat in her chair, a silver serpent-like anthromorph. She tapped her claws against the table, her blue eyes narrowed with irritation as her tail twitched. 

"... Aliens." Dib stared. 

"I recognize you, Switchblade... but who are the others?" Orange growled, his eyes occasionally darting towards Fab. Fab crouched and hissed, her entire body tense like a spring. 

"This is my son... DanDanRu." Switchblade smirked as he gestured to the golden alien. 

"Yo." DanDanRu grinned. 

"And the wet blanket over there is ParaPar." Switchblade jerked a thumb at the alien in question. ParaPar massaged her temples and shook her head, sighing. 

"How dare you show your faces!" Rio snarled. "What evilness are you up to!?" 

"Nothing evil!" Switchblade waved his claws, innocently. "We're not Blood Slashers anymore! We're DANCE R0X0RS! We're simply promoting the peace and happiness of Dance Dance Revolution and ParaParaParadise by conquering the universe!" 

"Conquer the universe?" Dib blinked. "How does conquering the universe promote peace and happiness?" 

"The universe will be happy and at peace after we conquer it." DanDanRu replied, calmly. 

"... Ingenius!" Zim gasped. 

"Uuughhh..." ParaPar slumped in her chair. 

"But if you conquer the universe... that will hurt people! That's wrong!" Fuchsia gasped. Everyone paused to look at Fuchsia. Fuchsia blinked, then quietly slipped in to a corner and sat there. 

"But... but the Swollen Eyeballs...," Dib stared. 

"Hah! We used it as a clever ploy! We simply covered up our tracks by labeling our comings and goings as false! We'd also increase our ranks by approaching REAL aliens or mythical beasts and blackmailing them with discovery unless they joined! Those that submitted either escaped or were labeled as false reports! Those that did not where hounded by operatives until they begged for their lives!" Switchblade cackled, gleefully. "No one suspected a thing!" 

"You've got a lot of nerve," Orange sneered. "Conquering the universe is OUR ambition... do you really want to lose to us AGAIN?" 

"It was a fluke!" Switchblade jeered. "You don't even have the great FAB to rely on! She's just a small child now! Utterly worthless!" 

"Never underestimate us!" Rio snarled as Fab snapped her jaws together. "We fight for the GREAT IRKEN JUSTICE!" 

"YES!" Zim agreed. 

"WEEE!" GIR clung to Rio's arm and swung from it. 

"... GIR, go hit your head on the wall. It might give you a cupcake." Zim grunted. GIR squealed happily and ran to do just so. 

"Unbelievable," Dib sat down by ParaPar, sighing. "I'm in a room filled with aliens and I don't have anything to prove it... not only that, but the biggest conspiracy in the Swollen Eyeball history has been exposed and I can't prove it, either!" 

"Life sucks, huh?" ParaPar chuckled, weakly. 

"Dad, can we hurry up and kill them?" DanDanRu glanced at his father. "I'm hungry." 

"Fine, fine, ruin an old man's fun." Switchblade muttered. 

"Well." 

Everyone paused and turned to stare at Fab, who smirked evilly. 

"... Hate to tell you this, old man... but I'm about to ruin a whole lot more than your fun!" 

With a snarl, Fab lunged and tackled Switchblade with surprising force and aggression. Switchblade, unprepared for the attack, tumbled to the floor with a yelp. He squeaked in surprise as Fab lunged to bite his throat, his claws barely catching her face in time to hold her back. 

"DAD!" DanDanRu cried out, lunging to help his father but squeaked as Rio lunged to intercept him. 

"FACE THE FURY OF MY JUSTICE!" Rio roared as he proceeded to claw at the startled DanDanRu. 

"No... this is senseless..." Fuchsia whimpered. "The war's over... why do you have to start it up again?!" 

"Old grudges," ParaPar replied, quietly. "Old people carry grudges." 

"..." Fuchsia stared. 

"RIP HIS FACE OFF!" Orange snarled as he clenched his fists. 

"Don't worry, my ex-Tallest Orange!" Zim announced. "I'll protect you!" 

Orange paused and stared at Zim. 

"... But you're so tiny!" 

Zim sweatdropped. 

Switchblade snarled as he tried to throw Fab off of him, but he had underestimated one thing; he was old, as old as Orange if not older. Blood Slashers, or DANCE R0X0RS, may age slower than most other races, but they still age. Fab, seemingly untouched by time, was more than a match for the wrinkled prune. 

"D-Damn..." Switchblade yelped as Fab snapped her jaws inches away from his face. He struggled to push her back, his muscles shaking, as he began to sweat. "DAMN!" 

"DAD!" DanDanRu squealed as he tried to shove Rio off to help his father. Rio growled and punched DanDanRu in the stomach, fueled by his intense Irken Justice. 

"HALT, VILLAIN!" Rio roared. ParaPar twitched, then slowly stood up. 

"... I don't agree with this... they're stupid and pigheaded...," she muttered. "... but I won't... I can't let you hurt them!" 

With a snarl, ParaPar whirled and tackled Rio in the side, digging her claws in to him. Rio yelped and whipped the Genocide cutters out of their sheaths, trying to slice off ParaPar's head. ParaPar ducked, then punched Rio in the face. Rio yelped as he fell backwards and ParaPar leapt on top of him, pinning him to the ground. 

DanDanRu coughed up a bit of blood, then scrambled up to help his father. However, at that moment, Fab whipped her claws about and grabbed Switchblade's throat. Switchblade's eyes widened drastically as Fab squeezed, causing him to gag. 

"DAD!" DanDanRu cried, darting to help, but yelped when Orange whacked him with his cane. 

"HAH!" Orange barked. Zim darted over and started to kick DanDanRu in the sides, snarling. 

"TASTE MY MIGHTY IRKEN WRATH!" Zim growled. 

"Stop it..." Fuchsia covered his antennae, quivering. 

"Back off or I'll kill him!" ParaPar snarled as she grabbed a Genocide Cutter with her tail and held it to Rio's throat. "NOW!" 

"Don't threaten me..." Fab hissed. "I'll rip his throat out!" 

"Stop... it...," Fuchsia curled up in to a ball, shaking. 

"I MEAN IT!" ParaPar snapped. "I'll gut him like a fish!" 

"You'll regret it if you do!" Fab growled, her claws tightening. Switchblade gagged as DanDanRu tried to swat away Zim, only to get smacked by Orange's cane. 

"Stop..." 

"This... is getting ugly..." Dib's glasses fogged up. 

"If you kill him, I'll kill this bastard!" ParaPar screamed. 

"Don't worry about me, Fab! Rip him apart!" Rio cried. "I'll die for Great Irken Justice!" 

"Stay down!" Orange snarled as he hit DanDanRu again. 

"I'll twist your head off!" Fab purred, demonically, to Switchblade. 

"Don't you dare!" 

"WATCH ME!" 

"_STOP IT!_" 

A loud explosion shook the building, causing everyone to pause and turn to stare. Fuchsia stood by a smoldering machine, holding the chair responsible for the damage as he panted and quivered. He glanced about at everyone, his face twisted with emotion. 

"You're acting like animals!" he hissed. 

"Fuchsia!?" Orange blinked. 

"ANIMALS!" Fuchsia screamed as he threw the chair, causing it to smash a window. Everyone flinched, stunned at the sheer amount of anger that the usually docile Fuchsia displayed. "The war is over! OVER!" he cried. "There's no reason to fight anyone anymore! Most of the people don't even REMEMBER why it happened to begin with! JUST YOU!" 

Fuchsia covered his antennae and shook his head, shaking. 

"You're just starting the war all over again! For your own selfish, personal reasons! WHY!? Because of something that happened thousands upon thousands of cycles ago!? GET OVER IT!" he cried. "She's alive, YOU'RE ALIVE! The Blood Slashers didn't take Fab away from you! THE COUNCIL DID!" 

"..." Orange stared. 

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?" Fuchsia screamed. "More people are going to die! Thousands! Maybe even millions! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE A TREATY LIKE WITH THE PLANET JACKERS!?" 

"..." No one had any idea what to say as they stared at Fuchsia. 

"Why...?" Fuchsia whimpered. "I don't understand... are you really so hateful?! Are you really so hateful that you'll sacrifice your own people to hurt each other...?" 

Fuchsia collapsed to his knees and shivered. 

"How many... how many have to die before you feel better?" he whispered. "Will you be happy... when everyone's dead and there isn't anyone left alive TO fight? Is that what it will take?" 

"..." Orange glanced at Fab, shaking sightly. Fab slowly blinked, the fire in her eyes slowing to a dull simmer as she clutched Switchblade's throat. Switchblade swallowed hard, his expression surprisingly unreadable. 

ParaPar sat on Rio, motionless, as she held the Genocide Cutter very close to Rio's throat. Rio eyed the Cutter, then glanced at Fuchsia. 

Zim simply stood, dumbfounded, on top of the twitching DanDanRu. 

"... He's making a lot of sense, you know." Dib pointed out. "... Not that it'd matter to me if the whole lot of you died. It'd save MY planet from both of you." 

"... It's not my place to decide this..." Orange muttered. 

"IT IS!" Fuchsia shook violently. "It is! You're the entire reason this is happening, anyway! You and that Switchblade... you're so bitter and old that you're willing to sacrifice the young to get at each other! Just stop it! We don't even have to tell the Tallest it happened! We can pretend that there is no connection between the Blood Slashers and Dance R0X0RS! A new start!" 

"..." Orange blinked. 

"..." Fab stared. 

"..." Switchblade tried to breathe. 

"Maybe... maybe you could ask Red and Purple if they'd donate a planet to the DANCE R0X0RS! A planet... they could turn it in to one huge Dance-Dance-Whatever-It-Is convention hall!" Fuchsia continued, shakily. 

"... That'd be cool." DanDanRu blinked. 

"..." ParaPar glanced, suspiciously, at Orange and Fab. 

"Is it too much... to give it a chance?" Fuchsia whimpered. "Just one chance?" 

"... ..." Everyone glared at eachother. 

"... The mighty Zim feels that it would be a good idea!" Zim crossed his arms. "... The Dance R0ARS..." 

"R0X0RS." DanDanRu glanced up. 

"... would be a valuable asset to the Empire!" Zim continued, as if DanDanRu had not spoken. "That is how Zim feels!" 

"..." Rio eyed the Cutter at his throat, then glowered. "... I'll follow your orders, sir... even if it means..." 

"... That won't be neccesary," Orange sighed as he lowered his cane and looked at Switchblade. "I'm old... and I don't want to leave a legacy of death behind me. I willing if you are, you old fart." 

"...," Switchblade scowled and glanced at Fab, who glowered at him. "... I guess I can't screw up the future for everyone now. I'm not exactly going to live long enough to see it." 

Fuchsia sighed with relief as both Fab and ParaPar released their hostages, eying eachother warily as they stepped back. ParaPar darted over to DanDaru, shoving Zim off and helping her friend to his feet. 

"Are you...?" she muttered. 

"... A little bruised, but its mostly my pride," DanDanRu replied. "I got beaten up by an old prune." 

ParaPar blinked, then giggled. 

"... I'll remind you of that." 

"I knew it." 

"Fab." 

Fab looked up, blinking slowly, as Orange knelt in front of her. 

"... Fab, do you remember me?" Orange muttered. 

"... Of course I do!" Fab beamed, suddenly innocent and carefree again. "You're the Muffin Man!" 

Orange flinched slightly, then shook his head. 

"You don't remember..." he sighed. 

"... ex-Tallest..." Rio lowered his antennae. "She's just..." 

"I remember you, Orange." 

Orange's eyes widened as he looked at Fab, who reached up to touch his cheek. 

"You're older... but I remember you." Fab muttered, her voice soft. Orange blinked, then blushed lightly and smiled. 

"... I missed you so much... I thought you where gone... and I was ready to die." he mumbled. Fab smiled and tilted her head. 

"... It was lonely," Fab closed her eyes. "... But I remembered you." 

Orange blinked slowly, then slumped. 

"I'm too old for you now..." he sighed. 

"... Not on the inside." Fab grinned, then suddenly leaned up to kiss Orange. Orange's eyes widened, then slowly closed as he relished the sensation. 

"Awwww..." Zim purred. 

"SUCKY FACEY!" GIR cried, having finally given up on making cupcakes fall from the wall. 

"... Hm." Dib rumbled through the bar for some soda and proceeded to open it. 

Rio smiled slightly and leaned against the wall. 

"... Guess you can't fight destiny," Rio muttered. "... Even with Great Irken Justice." 

"... Blegh," Switchblade wrinkled his nose, then flinched when ParaPar bopped him. "Bah!" 

Suddenly, the heart on Fab's chest burned brilliantly with an odd pink light. Fab and Orange started to glow in union, though they where oblivious to it. Slowly, Fab started to increase in size and age as Orange started to lose his wrinkles. Everyone stared in alarm and confusion as the two Irkens kissed, one growing older while the other growing younger. 

"What's happening...!?!" Zim stared. 

"That heart thing... it's siphoning off his age and giving it to Fab!" ParaPar whispered. 

After a few minutes, the aura seemed to disappear as the Irkens appeared to reach the same age. The two paused and drew back to stare at each other, dazed and confused. 

"... Fab...?" Orange ventured. 

"... I feel... older." Fab blinked. "... and sane..." 

At that moment, an odd thing happened. 

The gold and pink heart died down, then fell off of Fab's chest. It fluttered downward, like a leaf on the wind, and drifted across the floor. Everyone turned to stare at the heart as it slowly twirled and twisted... 

Before it suddenly fused to GIR's chest. 

"..." Everyone's eyes widened as GIR blinked and poked the heart. 

"Oooo..." GIR blinked repeatedly, then squealed and waved his arms. 

"G-GIR?" Zim's jaw dropped. GIR paused, then looked at Zim. 

"HI!" 

"... Um... Hi?" Zim blinked. GIR cackled and waved his arms, then smirked. 

"Guess what." 

"... What?" 

".... NOW THAT I HAVE GREETED YOU, I MUST GIVE YOU A HUG!" 

Everyone screamed. 

----------------- 

Zim sighed as he reclined on his couch, trying to ignore the multitude of bunnies that seemed to follow GIR around happily. 

Zim was happy to note that GIR did not abuse the dreaded power he had just inherited; he was even moreso pleased to know that GIR acted no different than before. 

He supposed the entire reason GIR was granted the power was because, to be perfectly honest, he was insane to begin with. 

A loud crash from the kitchen caused Zim to flinch and sigh. 

"Damn it! Watch what you're doing, you old fogey!" 

"OLD FOGEY!? Who're you calling a fogey!?" 

The other aliens had found themselves in an odd situation. The 'Dance R0x0rs' where stranded to begin with while Rio, Fuchsia, Orange, and Fab had each destroyed their VootRunners in the process of coming to Earth. In other words, no one had any method to leave. Zim's VootRunner was too small to fit the numerous aliens, so Orange had a brilliant idea. 

They were going to wait for the Tallest to send a rescue team. 

"Fogey is as fogey does!" 

"I'm not old anymore, you bastard!" 

"You're still old, even if you don't look it!" 

Which meant, unfortunately, that all of the aliens decided to wait at Zim's house for the rescue party. DanDanRu and ParaPar still worked the arcade, trying to repair it despite the fact that it'd be useless once they left to meet with the Tallest. 

But it kept them out of his house, so Zim didn't care too much. 

Dib had taken the whole situation oddly well, dismissing it as 'the usual crap' that filled his life and vowed to expose Zim soon enough. Zim had to admit that stupid stinkbeast could take life's little pitfalls fairly well, even if he was a meatbag. 

Orange and Fab intended to take a long honeymoon after they escaped the Earth, to catch up on old times and generally get naughty. Zim didn't want to think about that. 

Another crash, followed by extreme cussing, made Zim whimper and bury his face in his claws. 

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" 

"Like you even know HOW to make pancakes!" 

"If you can make them, I can!" 

"HAH!" 

"P-please don't fight!" 

Once again, Fuchsia tried to break up the fight. That Irken had great guts, even if he acted like a pansy. 

"Stay out of this!" 

"Yeah! I can handle that moron!" 

"Don't make me get Fab!" 

"Oh, so you can't handle your own problems without your GIRLFRIEND?!" 

"HAH! Problem!? You're just an irritation!" 

"Irritate this!" 

"HEY! YOU THREW DOUGH AT ME!" 

"No DUH. What you going to do about it!?" 

"THIS!" 

Another crashed followed soon after. Zim let out a shuddering whimper and shook his head as the sounds of Switchblade and Orange fighting filled the house. 

He prayed to Irk that the rescue team came soon. 


End file.
